Happy second day of classes! We hope you get off every waitlist you’re currently stuck on. In the meantime, Bwog brings you today’s news as you figure out the best way to curse everyone ahead of you.

Happening in the World: Prime Minister Boris Johnson fired 21 members of his own political party and called for a general election after a bloc of lawmakers seized control of Parliament and pushed through a bill to block a no-deal Brexit. This will be the UK’s third general election in 5 years. (CNN)

Happening in the US: Walmart will stop selling handguns and certain types of ammunition, and ask customers not to carry weapons openly in their stories. This decision follows recent mass shootings across the US, including an attack in an El Paso Walmart that left 22 people dead. (BBC)

Happening in NYC: Despite protests from criminal justice advocacy groups, the plan to close and replace Rikers Island passed the City Planning Commission. The next step is a public hearing and vote by the city council. (Gothamist)

Happening on Campus: Looking to make new friends without spending a ton of time on the endeavor? Head over to Wien Hall for the Office of University Life’s Speed Friending event from 6 to 7:30 PM. Of course, snacks will be provided while you network; just bring your CUID.

Short Story Recommendation: Alix E. Harrow’s Hugo Award-winning story “A Witch’s Guide to Escape: A Practical Compendium of Portal Fantasies” features libraries, witches, and using books to escape your terrible life. What more could a college full of nerds ask for?

parliament goes (pro)rogue via David Iliff//Wikimedia Commons