Menu CATEGORIES

Connect with us

CATEGORIES Menu
All Articles

Dog Bwog

Today we received a message from a dog who missed our staff writer application deadline.

The dog was really sad. We told him he could still post on our site. He started howling about his resume and Spec being crappy and whatever, but eventually we convinced him to submit an article. And, no, we didn’t let him write about Benjamin Pierce ;)

Now, this is the first time Bwog has published anything written by a dog. Some of us worried that posting this article might make us seem, “this is a stupid idea,” and “I just don’t get why we have to print this,” but after the rest of us accused them of being “literally cats,” we decided to publish the piece.

We’ve made clarifying notes where necessary, but have edited nothing. Know that what you’re about to read is 100% poodle.

**If you have never heard of dogs, or would like to learn more about them, please refer to the note at the bottom of this article.

Bark,

Bark bark bark bark bark woof bark bark woof woof bark bark. Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark. Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark, bark bark bark. Woof woof woof woof bark bark bark bark. Woof wooooffff wooofff woof bark woof woof woooofff bark bark.

Woof, woof bark bark woof woof bark bark bark woof woof woof. Bark woof bark bark, bark woof bark bark — woof bark bark woof. Bark bark bark bark bark danke bark bark bark bark bark bark. Woof woof woof woof. Woof bark woof bark woof bark woof bark woof woof. Woof. Bark woof. Bark.

“Meow?” Bark. Woof.

“Meow?” Woof. Bark.

Bark bark woof so-called “meow” bark bark. Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark; bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark. Bark bark bark bark woof woof. Bark bark @barrk ^_^ bark woof. Woof woof woof bark bark woof.

Bark bark ahooooooo bark woof . Woof woof bark bwog bark woof bark bark. Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark arf bark bark bark bark bark teenage angst bark bark bark bark bark bark bark. Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof rotfl woof bark bark woof bark bark bark woof woof bark bark bark bark woof bark woof woof woof woof woof bark.

<Howl> <Howl>

Bark bark woof woof woof. Bark bark bark woof. Bark bark bark woof woof woof woof woof bark bark woof woof woof bark bark bark woof woof. Bark bark bark bark bark. Bark woof. Bark woof bark bark bark. Bark Bark woof woof woof woof bark bark woof woof bark woof bark bark bark woof bark woof woof bark. Bark woof bark bark. Woof woof bark bark. Woof.

Bark Bark,

Woof

 

**Dogs are mammals in the canine family. Experts believe they are descended from wolves, but no one  knows for sure, and no one cares. My dog used to watch Scandal. Humans have convinced dogs to “sit,” “roll over,” “heel,” and eat cat food.

Leap via Pixabay

Leave a Reply to Anonymous Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

 

4 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Woof!

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Bork?

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous stop it. You’re doin me a frighten!

  • Bark Woof says:

    @Bark Woof

  • Have Your Say

    What should you actually Venmo people for?

    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

    Recent Comments

    The reason so many GSSC members were absent is because that night was the GS named scholarship dinner, but hey, (read more)
    Private: GSSC Talks Coasters, Events, CPS, And More
    November 20, 2019
    Ironically, none of these pearl clutchers are STEM majors. If they were, they would be too busy studying. (read more)
    Extinction Rebellion Students On Hunger Strike, Demand Action Against Climate Change
    November 19, 2019
    Did you know that Albus Dumbledore and Mickey Mouse are among those "11,000 scientists"? Look it up. (read more)
    Extinction Rebellion Students On Hunger Strike, Demand Action Against Climate Change
    November 19, 2019
    if an incel and a femcel have sex does it even count? (read more)
    Extinction Rebellion Students On Hunger Strike, Demand Action Against Climate Change
    November 19, 2019

    Comment Policy

    The purpose of Bwog’s comment section is to facilitate honest and open discussion between members of the Columbia community. We encourage commenters to take advantage of—without abusing—the opportunity to engage in anonymous critical dialogue with other community members. A comment may be moderated if it contains:
    • A slur—defined as a pejorative derogatory phrase—based on ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, or spiritual belief
    • Hate speech
    • Unauthorized use of a person’s identity
    • Personal information about an individual
    • Baseless personal attacks on specific individuals
    • Spam or self-promotion
    • Copyright infringement
    • Libel