Bwogger Catherine Jones writes a tell-all of all the craziness they’ve witnessed at Dodge Gym.

As a freshman in my very first couple of weeks at Columbia University, I’ve heard some things uttered from the mouths of other Columbians, specifically in the vicinity of or within Dodge Fit-ness Center (ya know, the 3 story sweaty gym sock) that are completely noteworthy. It’s not just me. My friends and other random-ass people I’ve met have had similar experiences at the under-ground, lair-like facility; experiences that can only be described as utterly Columbia, the epitome of CU culture, the loudest roar of that patina-covered lion we all love so well.

• “I honestly feel less rejuvenated than when I arrived. I don’t even feel juvenated.”
• “Can we please not go to JJ’s after this?”
• Marveling at the super buff dude on the bicep-curl machine wailing as if he were giving child-birth, turns out, he was one the lightest possible weight.
• Witnessing someone kick another person off “their” treadmill even though all the other tread-mills were completely open.
• Leaving because it smells bad
• Watching someone be involuntarily tackled my a runner on the track as the victim tried to cross the track without looking both ways.
• “I feel like I’m walking into a cave of toxic masculinity, but it’s fine.”
• “Does the Barnard gym exist?”
• “Do you think Dodge is just like a plug for the car company? That seems a little unethical for the market seeing as nobody here drives.”

By far the winner of these Dodge experiences goes to the girl who hopped on a treadmill at 7:47am on the second day of classes, started her morning jog, and proceeded to whip out some light reading. And that light reading, ladies and gents, was Plato. Welcome to Columbia am I right. Honestly, I’m proud. That’s the kind of dedication to academic and physical education that e‘er I’ve seen. Well done, whoever you are. I’ll see you next week for some Aristotle on the elliptical.

Dodge Gym via Bwog archives