These aren’t your average blue-foil wrapped, dry, sugar-brick Rice Krispie Treats. These Kwispie Tweats are gooey, fluffy, and sure to be a hit at your next Futter Field lounging sesh. Best of all, they’re no-fuss and absurdly versatile. Veganfy them! Kosherfy them! Halalify them! Minimal skill level required.  

These tweats are best when made with company. Everyone can have a different task in the production process, and when you’re finished, you get to messily devour your gooey, delectable creation together. Confession time: the thing about these tweats is that they are so gooey and delectable that they never really solidify enough to reach a neatly-cuttable consistency—or if they do, we’ve never waited long enough to see it. Summon some pals whom you have no need to impress, and who won’t judge you for getting marshmallow goo down your chin.

Making these is really a matter of eye-balling. You can’t fuck them up because at the end of the day, they’re just cereal, marshmallow, and butter. Don’t worry too much about quantities.

Rice Kwispie Tweats

Ingredients

• 2 bags of regular-sized marshmallows
• 1 stick of salted butter (or vegan alternative)
• about 4-6 cups of Rice Krispies cereal
• a spoonful of vanilla (you don’t have to buy vanilla for this. If you have it, use it. Otherwise, we won’t tell)
• a pinch of salt (The Barefoot Contessa always says salt brings out the sweetness in things, but again, don’t haul ass to Morton Williams for this ingredient)
• any fun flavoring agent! (think chocolate chips, Froot Loops, chopped Oreos, anything from John Jay’s ice cream bar)

Directions

• Go to Hewitt with Tupperware, cups, baggies, whatever receptacle that can hold a large amount of Krispies, and stock up
• Add to a large, microwave-safe bowl: a bag and a half of marshmallows, one half to three-quarters of a stick of butter, and a pinch of salt
• Use some of the remaining butter to grease a smol (9×9, 8×10, just a lil guy) rectangular pan
• Microwave the marshmallow/butter mixture for 30 seconds at a time, stirring after each interval with a rubber spatula
• Meanwhile, take the remaining half bag of marshmallows and tear each marshmallow into quarters, effectively creating mini marshmallows
• When the marshmallow/butter concoction has come together and is nicely melted, add some Krispies and the vanilla
• Continue adding Krispies until the marshmallow-to-cereal ratio looks appetizing and stirring is more difficult
• Add the handcrafted mini marshmallows and any additional, pizzazz-inducing ingredients
• Using a rubber spatula, press the mixture into the dish and let it sit
• Once it reaches a temperature y’all are comfortable with, devour it (the longer you wait, the neater it’ll be)

VEGAN? KOSHER? HALAL? At Columbus Natural Food you can buy vegan marshmallows. They have a particularly soft composition, which makes the tweats extra fluffy and delicious.

a blurry acquisition of Krispies

a messy production feat. doggo spatula

a perfect picnic provision

Images via Christa Bailey