This god awful semester is technically done today! Professors who are still waiting for assignments: can we move on please? No one thinks this is fun anymore!

Bwogline: NYC’s Police Commissioner Dermot F. Shea defended his officers who have been accused of racism in their enforcement of social distancing rules after activist groups and some officials claimed the police’s behavior is reminiscent of racist stop and frisk practices. Data from the police department showed that over 90% of people arrested for pandemic-related offenses in the past week have been black or Hispanic, but Shea still insisted that he would “not have my police department called a racist police department.” (NYT)

Study Tip: Make up a song or even just a melody to help remember your notes! I know this is extremely silly but I still remember a song I made up in third grade to help me remember the water cycle and a song (to the tune of the Plants Vs. Zombies theme, throwback) that literally just lists a bunch of prepositions my sixth grade teacher thought were important for some reason.

Music: Charli XCX just released an album she made in a little over a month with help from A.G. Cook, Danny L Harle, Dylan Brady, BJ Burton, and her fans! It bangs!!!!! I was literally levitating when I listened to it for the first time and I am absolutely devastated I won’t be able to lose my mind to “anthems” at a party for the foreseeable future. As Charli sings, “I want anthems! Late nights! My friends! New York!” Me too, girl!

Procrastination Tip: Seriously consider shaving your head. Text everyone you know and love that you are thinking about doing it and debate it in front of them for hours even though within thirty seconds they will be telling you to go for it (if they are your real friends). Debate for too many days and then just shave it, you coward! Watch the hair slowly grow back.

Overseen/Overheard: Orange cat roaming around my very steep, extremely isolated driveway??!! Dude, where the fuck did you come from and what are you doing here? No worries, man, but this is so not the time.

Please no more of this nonsense via me and the Academic Calendar