Making your worst nightmares come true.

The other day I went to refill my water bottle at the station in the lobby of John Jay, and was struck with a deep sense of dread as I realized that the water was GRAY. Here are some of Bwog’s theories as to what will happen if you drink it.

• You immediately change your major to chemistry
• You see the face of your soulmate for one fleeting moment
• Your body will never again require nourishment
• You can spawn asexually
• -3 life force 
• You gain the ability to easily read PrezBo’s emails
• You can now communicate with the pigeons
• You know what Sappho’s lost fragments say
• Next time you check your balance, you will be down $68
• You turn into PrezBo. Surprise! It was his polyjuice potion
• You turn into a rat and teleport to the 116th subway station
• You are now capable of understanding Hegel
• Your skin turns shimmery and silvery/metallic
• You turn into one of those liquid metal terminators
• Alma Mater comes to you in a dream and whispers the date of your death
• Your blood starts to smell abnormally good to vampires (Bella Swan syndrome)
• You turn into a blueberry, Willy Wonka is real life 
• You can now navigate blind based on the Earth’s magnetic field
• You gain the ability to understand the weird modern art on campus
• You actually enjoy Lerner’s architecture style
• You finally understand the beginner’s mind 
• You can see the bonus colors shrimp can see
• It will turn the fucking frogs gay
• You can shoot crows out of your hands
• You become the übermensch
• Or alternatively, you become radio rebel
• You can notice that dogs blink in morse code, and they’re asking for your help
• You can find the lost city of Atlantis
• You start vomiting blood and die