Bwog’s lead banana pudding correspondent, Nicki Camberg, makes an impassioned plea to get #sponsored by a local culinary institution.

This is not the first (or even second) time I’ve used my Bwatflorm to share with our committed base of readers the divine creation that is Magnolia Bakery’s banana pudding. In my own words, “Magnolia’s concoction is a transcendent taste bud experience, defying traditional definitions of flavor and texture,” and I haven’t been quiet about it. My Twitter feed (which you should definitely follow) discusses this important topic on multiple occasions, and you don’t even want to see how much I text my friends about it. Bwog’s Slack (aka Bwack) has several Slackbots that are triggered when this heavenly elixir and/or the associated bakery is mentioned, and that’s all because of me, in addition to several custom emojis. I talk about it so much that one of my coworkers at my professional serious place of business where I work in a professional capacity Venmoed me $7.50 as a gift for the express purpose of, you guessed it, buying banana pudding (thanks again Brandon).

So, with that important historical context given, why should Magnolia sponsor me?

By my own rough and accurate calculation, I have convinced a minimum of 12 people have gone to Magnolia and get this pudding, at least half of whom have since been repeat customers. For a period of time last year, I would go to the 69th street location weekly and deliver banana pudding orders to people back on campus, further indoctrinating more people aboard the banana pudding train. I have earned the hard-working bakers at Magnolia Bakery hundreds of dollars, and while I will continue to do this happily, for this seems to be my god ordained duty to do here on this Earth, I truly believe a partnership could be beneficial for the both of us!

I see the Bumble and Yerba Mate ambassadors roaming around campus, and I long to be one of them, but for a product that I am truly passionate about. Imagine how much more powerful my endless promoting of the banana pudding flavor of the month could be if I had samples to pass out, how much more productive academically I would be with the constant source of joy in my life and therefore more financially successful in the future and able to purchase more banana pudding, how much free advertisement you could get from me strutting around the city with a fashionable Magnolia tote bag.

Here is my proposal:

• Magnolia Bakery enlists me as their campus ambassador, proving free pudding and whatever else they deem fit
• I continue to promote the hell out of their products to everyone I meet
• We both profit!!!!

Image of the nectar of the heavens via Bwog Archives