Yes. I know most of us wish we were back on campus. We would even put up with the Hartley bathrooms if it meant coming back. But, let’s feel better about our situation by naming some of the god-awful things we don’t miss about campus.

  • The paralyzing fear of tripping and spilling all your food every time you walk up the Ferris stairs
  • Walking past the ButlerSmokers™ (who are always impeccably dressed) on the way to a late night JJs run
  • The shame after passing Dodge and knowing full well you will probably never actually work out in there
  • Tripping on the uneven College Walk cobblestone (also literally FLYING FORWARD ON THAT GRATE AT THE TOP OF LOW STEPS ADJACENT TO DODGE HALL ON THE WAY TO HAVEMEYER)
  • The musty stench of a Wallach hallway (or any unrenovated residence hall)
  • Getting up to pee in the library and all you can think about is whether or not your stuff will be stolen by the time you get back
  • The John Jay automatic doors closing on you
  • The uneven stairs in Milbank
  • The Hamilton bathrooms being only on certain floors (is there a bathroom on 5? Or is it 6?), with ONLY TWO STALLS, completely full of people during class breaks
  • Forgetting your towel and being forced to live in the communal bathrooms for the rest of your life, naked and alone
  • The automatic lights turning off mid-self-care-shower and standing in complete darkness, waiting for your inevitable doom by cockroach
  • Rainy days but you forgot your umbrella and your late for class and your coat is perpetually damp
  • Being shushed for sighing audibly in the library
  • The minuscule mini desks in Havemeyer 309
  • Settling into rooms and finding out they’re rEserVeD
  • Alternately, finding people in your reserved rooms
  • One time I told someone I had the room reserved and then they smirked and told me that because I was 10 minutes past my reservation time my reservation was void 
  • Having a class on the 7th floor of Hamilton
  • The smell of Pupin
  • Fish Fridays at the dining halls
  • Fire alarms and evacuations
  • That classroom in Hartley
  • Meeting everyone you’ve ever ghosted, and/or have been ghosted by, every time you go to a dining hall
  • Being interrupted mid discussion-based (Core) class
  • Going to sleep hoping that classes will be cancelled for a snow day, then receiving an email the next morning that “CU employees have been working tirelessly to ensure that the snow won’t deter us from attending class, and in fact classes will not, nor will they ever be, cancelled”

College Walk via Bwog Archives