There is one thing all New Yorkers hate more than anything. More than the rats, pigeons, roaches, random blasting noises from outside, slush that covers the ground whenever it snows. And that thing is annoying people on the subway. Admittedly, we have all been that person. But it is in all of our interests to avoid being that person again, at all costs. Seriously, please, for everyone else’s sanity. 

  1. Don’t sit directly next to other people. 

No. Just don’t do it. It’s weird. Even pre-covid it was weird. Now with covid it’s just downright insane. 

  1. Don’t try and strike up a conversation. 

Literally no one on the subway cares. Everyone is so wrapped up in their own brain that you trying to ask them where they got their book bag is just an annoying sidenote. I know, you are being nice. But you aren’t in Nebraska anymore kiddo. So buck up and shove past the person next to you like a real New Yorker. Remember, New Yorkers are far too busy to deal with you. 

  1. Don’t eat super smelly food. 

No one needs to smell your random garlic-related dish at 7 in the morning. You see those dark bags under everyone’s eyes? Yea, those mean they are tired of smelling the pungent aroma of the food. Plus you are taking your mask off in a closed space. Why? Just why? There are so many issues here. Just wait till you get off the packed subway car. 

  1. Don’t stop suddenly when you are entering or exiting, blocking everyone behind you. 

Move. Don’t stop moving. No one cares if you have no idea where you are going. Move forward with purpose and pray you end up somewhere. 

  1. Don’t speak super loudly to your friends. 

Believe it or not, no one gives a crap if Jenny refused to pick up the pizza. Seriously, there is no need to scream your problems down the subway car, no matter how cathartic it may be. 

  1. Don’t try and make phone calls 

You will lose connection. You are underground. For the love of everything, no matter how many times you scream “HELLO CHERYL CAN YOU HEAR ME?” into your poor poor phone. Cheryl cannot hear you as you are underground, but trust me, everyone else can. 

  1. LEAVE YOUR MASK ON!!!

We are living in a pandemic. You are standing in small contained space with recycled air. Do us all a favor and keep it on. Over the nose, you do actually breath out of your nose!

With that being said, everyone on the subway is so wrapped up in their own stuff that unless you do something REALLY annoying, it is doubtful anyone will even care. But don’t. Still don’t be that person.

Image via Bwog Archives