Scream at the top of your lungs if you need to. It’ll help.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Aisha, Columbia College, History + Political Science, Brooklyn, NY

Claim to fame: i really don’t do anything yet i was asked to do this so somebody’s watching. best hair: i’m giving variety, i’m outside the bar giving niggas a different name every week.

Where are you going? to the moon Alice, the goon palace. we dont get fly, we take flights

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2025? 

1. do not work at the call center. i dont care if you are down to your last $20. take that $20 and go split an eighth with someone or go get the crab meat fried rice from Thai Market or the dibi from Africa Kine in Harlem. Allah provides, ruffalo noel-levtiz does NOT. bums. i promise you anything is better than working at the call center. they shamelessly exploit students. they asked student workers to prove we “deserved” a 50 cent raise and wallahi they will hear from my God for the evils they commit. MOREOVER, telling low-income students to ask alumni to donate because we can’t afford winter coats, though we all know the financial aid office does not provide sufficient support to us regardless of how much is raised and the billions the university has, is despicable. judgement day is coming for everyone who works at the alumni office. and if you work at the call center as a student manager and you are writing up other students…..you are a opp. literally being a fed for a $1 extra in wages…..you cheap bum. working in that basement is not worth your mental health. go hang out with friends. the relief i felt when i was fired was delicious. 
2. always always always appeal your financial aid eligibility. the school got money and you don’t. it’s really that simple. 
3. mind your business. niggas is weird, including me. i believe at this point in life we all know right from wrong and now we’re simply testing our threshold of either behaviors. how people act or what they say, even in response to me, has nothing to do with me. it’s only a reflection of their bag of personalities that they’ve developed over the years and carried into that encounter with me. so imma just mind my own bag of personalities. im working on being self-preserving without being needlessly selfish. minding my black ass business allows me to filter what i find pleasant, what disgusts me, what i find purposeful, and what bores me. its very important to me to discern which feelings are distinctively mine and not a result of others’ projections unto me. in short, don’t let these weirdos touch you with their mess. this is not isolationist: the point is to keep people around you that make you laugh and enrich you. your interactions with others can teach you things about yourself. however, personal growth may be uncomfortable, but it should never be denigrating. no one can or should corner you into doing or being anything. unfortunately, this campus is filled with cheap moral anarchists and bby -__- i don’t play with demons, satan, get thee behind!!!!!!

“Back in my day…” westside market didn’t have so many damn cameras. what they scared for?

Favorite Columbia controversy? @Student Conduct Office: what we (allegedly) do twin, i’ll never tell <3

What was your favorite class at Columbia? any African history classes by Professor George and Professor Diouf. they are both just absolutely brillant and aspirational.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? i’ve never had to kick cheese out of my room

Whom would you like to thank? hair vendors, the senegalese restaurants that’ve kept me well fed, Dr. Holder, that one lady in CPS that found me my therapist, Sister Patience, Nicki Minaj, Nicki Lewinsky, Nicki Da Ninja, Nicki Da Boss, Nicki Da Harajuku Barbie, the loveliest Oreoluwa, and most of all Allah and my mommy <3 

One thing to do before graduating: scream at the top of your lungs at riverside park. hell do it on low steps who cares. there comes a point where screaming is right answer cause this place will take you to that edge.

Any regrets? many but i will always here tomorrow until i’m not.

Image via Aisha