Inspired by a thesis-induced stupor and slap-happy sleep deprivation.

*SSOL and whatever the Barnard course planner is supposed to be called because we can’t have nice things. 

12.

This is very clearly in last place because it is very clearly a penis.

11.

Okay… I’m sorry. It’s 🐻 + 🦁 + (70-1).

10.

I kind of love this one because it’s the Very Hungry Caterpillar a la Eric Carle mid-metamorphosis BUT it’s fucking insane and stresses me out to look at so it’s #10.

9.

I’m going with slightly busted vampire post-meal. Maybe Edward Cullen had a little tussle. I don’t know. It’s bad.

8.

This seems like a little landscape with some clouds, a tree, and some patches of grass. Theoretically innocuous but inexplicably sinister. Like the poisonous hunger games arena or the evil-apple-laden garden of Eden. There are a lot of preteen memories to deconstruct here.

7.

I think this is a really old Galapagos tortoise with arthritis which makes me sad but I like tortoises.

6.

It’s flipping me off, but it’s minimalist!

5.

It’s a bridge troll but I feel like he’ll be annoying about the password for a bit and then get over it pretty quickly, kinda like Duo Security.

4.

It’s a couple of kids on a carousel, which is so cute! Everything about that is also loud and overstimulating so it can’t be at the top.

3.

It’s a Mii jumping and spinning around because someone threw the bowling ball the wrong way in Wii Sports. This is giving very happy 2009 vibes!

2.

This is a very peaceful flying bird carrying a meal for its babies. It is the reliable serenity we all need during course registration.

1.

This is the most perfect little turtle! I love it!

Schedules via Stressed Student Submissions

Rorschach Inkblot via Wikimedia Commons