A sophomore Bwog Staffer ventured to two of Columbia’s Career Fairs and lived to tell the tale.

You put on the suit you never thought you would wear, fish out your dress shoes from the bottom of a suitcase, and watch an eight-minute video of how to tie a tie (don’t ask me why I know it’s eight minutes). If you had a bouquet, people would think you were going on a date. But you’re not—you’re going to the Columbia Undergraduate Career Fair.

I had never been to a career fair before, so I hardly knew what to expect. “Attending the career fair is like speed dating.” My CCE counselor reassured me, “You get to know more about the company while the company gets to know more about you, and you see if there’s a spark.”

I knew that was not entirely true—you don’t say “yes” to everything and everybody while speed dating. But, that was exactly what I was prepared to do at the Career Fair. If anybody showed interest in me in any shape or form, I planned to reciprocate as best as I could.

While I was pacing up and down the Roone Auditorium, figuring which company representative I should talk to first, the Wall Street wannabes were thriving. With their habit of reading The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times while sipping their morning coffee, they seemed to know the companies inside and out. “I am so interested in your company because…” Their smiles were confident and their handshakes firm. They introduced themselves with great enthusiasm, produced their resumes with a flourish, and in a flash, they had already moved on to their next target.

Watching them was enough to make me feel underprepared. Though I did my share of research, and would never walk up to the representative and say, “I knew nothing about you, tell me more,” I still took out my phone for some last-minute deep dives. Swarms of people walked past, pushing and bumping me until I found myself leaning against the wall next to the exit. I looked around, only to find a few other heads buried in their phones as well.

Starting a conversation with a representative was an art that I quickly perfected by condensing my elevator pitch to a simple: “I am a sophomore.” For companies that offer sophomore internships, this would serve as the prelude to a wonderful discussion of their opportunities and my qualifications. But in most cases, this marked the beginning of the end of our conversation. The recruiters looked away until their gaze fell on the stack of pamphlets on the table and said, “Here is some information that you might be interested in.” Forcing the flyers into my hands, they gladly sent me on my merry way. Some were even more efficient. My shortest conversation was with a sugar company representative.

“You’re a sophomore? I’m sorry, we only hire seniors. It was nice talking to you.” Seeing my outreached hand, she quickly extended hers as well. But I was not looking for a handshake. Instead, I picked up one of the sugar pourers from the table. “It was so nice talking to you!” I greedily dropped the sugar in my bag, which was already overladen with notebooks, pens, stickers, water bottles, stress-relief balls, and a Rubik’s Cube that I have gathered from other booths.

Did I mention the most enjoyable part of the career fair was collecting “trophies” from different companies?

Photos via Alec Gong and Columbia CCE