Bwog brings you the skinny on 2023’s hottest musical trend.

At Bwog, we like to have our finger on the pulse of student life. We are, after all, the primary source of college culture for at least 15-20 parents of Bwog staffers. Sometimes it’s hard to be such a bastion of Gen-Z society. But other times, Young Americana screams out so clearly, so powerfully, that we cannot help but answer the call. This is one of those times. 

It’s no secret that everyone got really into Cats: The Musical over winter break. 2023 brought about a revived interest in the trippy musical masterpiece. I can’t be the only one whose parents repeatedly asked them to turn down The Original London Cast Recording of “The Rum Tum Tugger!”

Cats is sweeping the nation. Specifically, the 1998 direct-to-video musical film of Cats in the Adelphi Theatre in London.

It has Elaine Stritch! It has Sir John Mills! It has tap dancing! And fireworks. And subtle gay subplots. If that somehow isn’t enough, it has a ridiculous amount of the tightest lycra catsuits you’ve ever seen. I heard lycra was specifically invented for the costume designer of Cats. This is just a silly little Cats fact.

The filmed version of Cats was released on VHS and DVD by Polygram Video. It reached number six on the Billboard Top Video Sales Chart in 1998. But it reached number one in my heart in 2023. 

For those of us who literally cannot get enough Cats, here are some handy tips to incorporate the beloved musical into your day-to-day life at Columbia. Unfortunately, we’ll have to wait another year to display our Cats-filled Spotify wrapped. 

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  1. Wear Leg Warmers

This one’s pretty simple. Wear leg warmers. But also, wear them on your forearms. Four different leg warmers. 

  1. Cats: The Musical references to slip into casual conversation 
  • “Wow, that physics midterm really made me feel like Jemima, the youngest and most innocent of the Jellicle Cats.” “Ugh, I’m sorry! If only you had the wisdom of Old Deuteronomy, the sage leader of the Jellicle Cats.”
  • “My roommate and I got into another fight about taking the trash out. We’re basically Munkustrap and Macavity at this point.”
  • “If only Mr. Mistoffolees, the Original Conjuring Cat, could magically save me from this unnecessarily extensive club application process.”
  • You could even try a little joke: “What do Columbia alumni and Jellicle cats have in common? They’ve both been an alumnus of heaven and hell!” (Specific Cats lyric alert!)
  1. Avoid conversations about the plot of Cats: The Musical 

No one actually knows anything about the plot of Cats. So as an avid fan of Cats, you must religiously avoid all discussion of the plot with other fans, who are equally confused. I’m pretty sure there’s a fancy ball (the Jellicle Ball) where one cat is chosen for a vague but obviously desirable prize/award? The award potentially has something to do with the fact that cats have nine lives. Old Deuteronomy is the leader of the cats and possibly their father. The cats are siblings who have insane and upsetting sexual tension with each other. There is a LOT of dancing. The dancers are sweating SO hard all the time. And slinking around on the floor. And pretending to lick one another.  Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote it when he was high on catnip. 

  1. HATE THE 2019 MOVIE

One thing I learned quickly during my foray into the Cats fandom: you have TO HATE THE 2019 MOVIE! It’s so bad and awkward and terrible. It’s an offense to cats everywhere. No one wants to see the blank space where they CGIed Jason Derulo’s bulge away. No one wants to hear Taylor Swift try to sing a legit Broadway solo. According to the comment sections of the Cats: The Musical Youtube clips I voraciously consumed over break, the movie was an affront to the musical’s nuanced cat hierarchy and revelatory score. As a fan of Cats, it’s your job to dismember and feed any fans of the 2019 movie to the subway rats. 

  1. Request that your friends and professors refer to you by your new, Cats-themed nickname. 

Ideas I came up with off the top of my head: Stack-o-bore the Butler Cat, Mr. Duodumper, Old Lady Felinefly, Mamastat the Alma Cat, Milliemuzzleplump. Roar-ee is already taken.  

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Cats is the weirdest musical I’ve ever illegally streamed on Youtube in my life. And yet, I’ve developed a Cats Fever. And the only prescription is more Cats. So now! This is YOUR chance to jump on the hottest feline craze of 2023 and buy multiple sets of leg warmers on Amazon. And develop incredibly volatile Cats opinions to share on niche internet message boards. If you want to paint whiskers on your face and put on a one-man performance of “Growltiger’s Last Stand/The Ballad of Billy McCaw” on Butler Lawn, I’m certainly not going to stop you. 

Cats via Wikimedia Commons