The verdict? Yes, they should.

The Angel on my Shoulder 

I love cereal. I’ve always loved cereal. It’s versatile yet dependable. You can count on the same texture in each bite, something that rarely occurs with literally any other type of food (fruits, vegetables, meat, etc). You can eat it plain or in a bowl of milk. There are countless types of cereal ranging various flavors and levels of healthiness. You could probably eat a different type of cereal each day and never run out of brands as long as you live. There are endless possibilities! 

I’ve always been a proud cereal addict. When I was five, I boasted of my obsession by wearing my Cereal Shirt as often as my mom would allow me. 

The drip.

I even had a set of bowls dedicated to the eating of cereal. They had a built-in straw so that after you finished a bowl you could easily sip up the remaining milk. The last meal I had before having to eliminate gluten (xoxo celiac disease) was two big bowls of Apple Jacks. Cereal was literally my Last Supper. 

The first time I stepped foot in JJ’s, I was taken aback. Not because of the crowdedness or the grime—but because they didn’t have cereal???? JJ’s has everything. Burgers, pancakes, mozzarella sticks, milkshakes. Yet they don’t have Lucky Charms????? Not even Froot Loops??? If JJ’s takes pride in its junkiness, they’ve gotta go all the way. Have a cereal bar. Honestly, my proposition is that they should replace the salad bar with cereal. Who goes to JJ’s and chooses to get salad???? Not me. 

The Devil on my Shoulder

You need to take a deep breath. You can’t expect to eat cereal for every meal of the day. Hewitt has cereal all day and you already have to restrain yourself from giving in and having Cheerios for dinner every night. Do you want to be like Grimes? You should have at least a semblance of variety in your diet, and JJ’s serving cereal would not help with that. 

Plus, who even likes cereal apart from you? The cereal dispensers in Hewitt, John Jay, and Ferris are almost always full. And—you know what, this is a bad argument. Why the hell should I play the part of a cereal anti? Cereal is good! There’s something for everyone—Frosted Flakes, Rice Krispies—Oh God, who have I become… 

JJ’s should just cave in and serve cereal already. The people want it. 

Myself via Deputy News Editor Emma Burris