Yeah, I’m friends with an RA. 

Picture this: you’re a resident of Sulz Reid 2. You’ve got two communal bathrooms, a cozy lounge, and your pick of not two, but FOUR elevators to take to the second floor when you’re too lazy to take the stairs.  Perhaps you’ve heard of your RA Mary, mother extraordinaire to first years and beautiful room curator. Mary has been living here for two years in the smallest room in the Quad, but she says she likes this floor a lot because it’s the only floor where she only deals with her own residents and not the entire Quad.  I asked to RoomHop RA Mary because she is a wonderful decorator and I can see her owning a small museum in New Haven someday. This RoomHop was conducted in interview style as RA Mary was getting ready to go out. 

RA Mary: Thank you Bwog for giving me a reason to clean my room. JK. 

I <3 boobs poster

RA Mary: My friend and I went to the Dyke March over the summer, and, shockingly, lesbians will flash you if you are holding up a sign that says I <3 boobs, so that was cool. Three people have drawn boobs on it. Below is some art that my ex-girlfriend made. Nothing but good things to say about her. 

Coaster

RA Mary: I stole this from a dive bar. 

SC: I don’t think you can really steal a coaster. Do they ration coasters? 

RA Mary: They cannot be more than 50 cents each, I do not think the drinks had to be as expensive as they were so stealing this makes up for it. 

Sarah Kinsley concert and the setlist 

RA Mary: When I went to the Sarah Kinsley concert, this flew down from the rafters and I caught it at the concert and I took it. 

Plastic mice

RA Mary: Moving on we have the mice. I threw my friend a cat and mouse party–

SC: I was there! 

RA Mary: That is a conflict of interest. Anyway, I ordered them for the party but they didn’t arrive on time. They’re cute. I have a lot of them.*

*I did take a picture of the mice but it was blurry so here is a stock image.

Poem from a friend

RA Mary: Many people write poems about me. Someone had a self-published a book about me. We didn’t even kiss, so that was weird. I’ve also inspired two separate people to give me shells. I was at a beach, and two separate people thought “y’know who could use a shell? RA Mary.” I’m also a strong believer in people giving you crystals, not purchasing them. 

—RA Mary then took a break to figure out which top she was going to wear to go out. There were three options and they were all very cute.—

Flowers on dresser

RA Mary: I am a bit fan of fresh-cut flowers. Big blue hydrangeas are my mom’s favorite, so I saw them at Westside and said mmhm mom and bought them. Others are pretty white flowers. Inexpensive queen. 

SC: Classic mom move. 

Card from my dad

RA Mary: When I was a junior in high school, my dad wrote this card in French when I was sad. It has come with me to every home I’ve lived in since then. 

Slimegreen bead

RA Mary: My best friend’s jewelry!! That she made!! @Slimegreen.bead on Instagram, go check her out!! She has always always been so talented and creative, and she started making jewelry after high school. SO cool. 

SC: Can confirm Slimegreen is the best.

Roller skates

SC: You rollerskate??

RA Mary: Yeah I rollerskate! I broke my arm doing it about a year ago. It was a week before my 21st birthday, and four days before my breakup. I fractured my radial head, but I was leaving to go study abroad in France so I could not go to physical therapy and now I cannot extend my arm all the way. *RA Mary then demonstrated this. Sophie was in shock.*

Dino plushie

RA Mary: My friend got it for me, it’s weighted! I want a cat but cannot have one in the dorm and I do not want to fill out the ESA application. Too much paperwork. 

Cage on window

SC: Why are you caged in? You’re on the second floor. 

RA Mary: It’s so no one goes on the scaffolding. However, I once told a friend that it was to stop the rats from getting in and I said oh doggy.* 

*I don’t remember the context of the oh doggy but had to keep it in. 

Stay tender with your power poster

RA Mary: Everyone should read Know My Name by Chanel Miller. She was the survivor in the Brock Turner case, and this is one of my favorite quotes from her book. You can buy them from her sister’s shop, actually. Lots of things can give you edges but I am a big believer in softness and kindness, tenderness. I like the idea of softness, and in Chanel’s words, “You don’t fight to injure, you fight to uplift.”

Film photos of doggy 

RA Mary: This is Harper, he is 10, a big boy, very beautiful to me, personally. 

Frog

RA Mary: My friend gave me this- frog-, and said, Mary would like this and Mary did really like this. 

Boobs and Renaissance art postcards

RA Mary: My friend gave me the one on the bottom because it looked like boobs. I got these (Renaissance figures) from a thrift store in New Haven where I am moving soon. I like old postcards, neoclassicism vibe, ya know? 

Mr. Rogers poster

RA Mary: I am from Pittsburg, I love it so much, more than anything. I am rewatching Abby Lee Miller’s Dance Moms because I am homesick. Mr Rogers slays, he went to the same college as my parents.  I really like his message that we can be loved just as we are!

Surrealist postcard

RA Mary: My friend and I threw a Halloween party, and the theme is this painting. Boy oh boy did people go all out. 

SC: I was also there. The costume scale was like… Surrealist sexy to Sue Sylvester.  

Two-headed calf poem

RA Mary: All the gay bitches love it. 

 Eat your pain poster

RA Mary: Looks like my dog. And also I like it a lot. 

Red hat on wall 

RA Mary: It was the Champions League final in Paris. I didn’t go to the actual game, but the little town my friends and I happened to be in was the town where the Liverpool fans were. They are insane, I love them, Liverpool till I die, etc, etc.  

Final thoughts: thank you Sophie, thank you to my residents, it has been an honor and a privilege, and I love this room. My residents are cool, I got really lucky. Hot take, I do like living in the Quad,  I love living alone, and I love being so close to everything. 

TLDR: “I love it, I like it a lot. I’m a STEMinist, I’m a lesbian, I’m gay. ”- RA Mary. 

All posters via Bwog Staff

Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee Around a Pomegranate a Second Before Awakening by Salvador Dali via Flickr