If you wanted to shit in Butler, you’re shit out of luck.

According to an email sent from Columbia Housing, the New York City Department of Environmental Protection shut down all water on 114th Street between Broadway and Amsterdam Avenues due to a water main break “until further notice.”

“Please gather and store water for drinking immediately. Following the shutdown, please refrain from using toilets as they won’t flush. If necessary, find a restroom in an alternative building. (Not on 114th Street),” the email reads. The full text of the email can be found below.

That’s right: it’s the night before finals begin, and you can’t poop in Butler (and all residents in buildings on 114th now have to deal with the major inconvenience of having no water for an indeterminate time). Are we cursed?

Would-be Butler poopers saw the following sight when attempting to hit the John:

Outside Carman, bemused passers-by could be observed photographing a gushing fire hydrant:

The student body was quick to express their dismay at the unfortunate happening:

It remains unclear how long the issue will take to resolve. One cannot help being irked and slightly amused at the timing of this all. Only at Columbia University in the City of New York!

Update at 11:23 pm on May 4: According to an alert from Columbia University Public Safety, “Lerner Hall and the following residence halls maintained water: Broadway, Hogan, Carman, and John Jay. The Brownstones and Ruggles are without water.”

Update at 12:31 am on May 5: Another alert from Public Safety sent to students clarified that “the DEP has determined the water pipe burst was isolated to Ruggles Hall. Water has been restored to all buildings on 114th Street except Ruggles.”

Email sent to Columbia Housing residents on 114th Street at 9:59 pm on May 4:

Dear Resident,

This is to notify you that due to an NYC water main break there will be an emergency shutdown of all water on 114th Street managed by New York City Department of Environmental Protection. This shutdown is occurring now, May 4, 2023 until further notice. Please gather and store water for drinking immediately. Following the shutdown, please refrain from using toilets as they won’t flush. If necessary, find a restroom in an alternative building. (Not on 114th Street).  In addition, residents should take notice to turn off all plumbing fixtures for sinks, showers, etc.; as leaving these fixtures in the on position could cause plumbing to flood once turned back on.  We will provide further information as it becomes available to us.  Thank you.

For any other concerns or questions, please contact the Hospitality Desk at (212) 854-2779.

Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.

Sincerely,

Columbia Housing

All photos via Bwog Staff