Your soulmate awaits.

Picture this: it’s September 19. You are lonely. You’ve scrolled through seven dating apps, looked confused in front of the Bottoms movie, and spent hours strolling through campus being the cool, mysterious human being you are.

But. No such luck.

As a last ditch effort, you make your way to Riverside Park, on the prowl for a dramatic, main-character breakdown turned meet-cute moment.

Strolling down the blocks, you pass a cute old couple, canoodling on a park bench. 116th, 115th, 114th… A dog makes its way over to you, knowing you need a little pet. 111th, 110th, 109th. You pass a soccer team—oh, the youth! The hope! The possibility! 103rd, 102nd, 101st. You cross under the highway, drawn to the Hudson by a magnetic pull.

“BWOG!!!!!!!!,” you shriek to New Jersey. “Someone!!! Anyone!! I’m so lonely!”

All of a sudden, you see two figures making their way toward you. One, born with hair. One, hair-less. Is that? Could that be? Jess and Tal from Bwog?

“Don’t fret,” they say, in almost eerie unison. (But it’s fine, they’re super cool.) “We have just the solution for you. Are you loney?”

“Yes,” you choke out. “How did you know?”

“Don’t worry about it. Do you want to both meet the love of your life?”

“Yes, please.”

“AND be famous?”

“Yup.”

“All in a one minute gazebo chat?”

“Please… sign me up!”

“Okay okay, you’re in luck! Bwog is here with Bwog Bwind Dates! Fill out this quick form, and we’ll matchmake you for a quick blind date interview. As they always say, mid-September is THE season of love.”

“Oh em gee Bwog, you guys are lifesav—”

You look back and they’ve disappeared. Wow, you gasp. They truly are magic. You float back to campus, knowing love is coming to you. Thank goodness for Bwog.

Bwind Dates via Bwog Staff