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Seeking: GS student (elderly preferred) to accompany me (CC ’27).

Duration: Until the loneliness subsides.

Responsibilities:

  • Explain the subway to me
  • Email my mean professors to ask for extensions
  • Hang my tests on your fridge (must supply fridge!)
  • Tell me you’re proud of me at least once a week
  • Bring me to a bar. You may only order liquor “on the rocks”
  • Carry cash (I will Venmo you back!)
  • Walk around with me during parents weekend. Respond to “Dad”
  • Hugs (optional)

Payment: One meal swipe per day + 10% of my CC financial aid.

Columbia Newspaper Ad via Bwarchives.