Some of our more specialized and effective ways to keep your dorm pest-free this semester. No rats or bugs allowed here!

1. Moisturize it so that it will dissolve after you add a little bit of water.
2. Play some Rat Removal subliminals or Rat removal frequencies.
3. Give them cheese and crackers (or bring them to Surf and Turf).
4. Bring home the Hewitt slop bucket… the building will be lifeless in a matter of minutes.
5. Make a large paper mache roach and/or rat to scare the smaller roach and/or rat away.
6. Give it a new home in Mudd.
7. Pay for an apartment downtown and then relocate all critters to the extra apartment. Make sure it’s nicer than your current dorm. Perhaps check out an airy Soho loft?
8. Give it an existential crisis.
9. Put it in a ziploc bag and squeeze the air out of it.
10. Vacuum it up.
11. Eat it.
12. Put it in a toilet paper roll and blow carbon dioxide at it until it dies.
13. Put it on a 5 pointed star and summon a demon to kill it.
14. Take it on a dip into the Hudson River.
15. Bring Roaree to kick it out.
16. Putting it on the sidewalk under a magnifying glass until it catches fire.
17. Put a ring of salt around it.
18. Email the NYC Rat Tsar.
19. Pray (to your god or to every one).
20. Put cups or jars over them and just don’t do anything. let them starve to death. 
21. Ask very politely for it to leave.
22. Build a little house for it (out of a Kleenex box?) and make it your new neighbor.
23. Flex seal.

Dorm Bugs via Bwog staff