This admittedly obese squirrel deserves some love and kindness in a world far too cruel to fat squirrels…

I remember the first day I set my eyes on Nutty Pumpkin. At first, a hatred coursed through my veins at the sight of the repulsive, fat squirrel that looked more like a pig than a squirrel. My friends were ooing and ahhing at this morbidly obese creature with its rotund body and beady black eyes. 

I laughed and walked closer and closer to the squirrel as it chewed on what looked like a leaf. However, to my surprise, the longer I stared at the squirrel, the more I fell in love. It was so cute, and even though I stood right next to it, the squirrel had no fear in its eyes. I was so close, I was almost touching the animal, and that was it. I was in love. 

My friends and I blessed the squirrel with the name “Nutty Pumpkin”. Thank you, Nutty Pumpkin, for opening my eyes to the beauty of squirrels and the nature around us. Every few days, I walk past your beautiful body and my world lights up from the joy of seeing you again.

Personally, Nutty Pumpkin has committed no wrongs against me. He’s a human lover, a cutie patootie, and he eats leaves in his free time. He brings joy into my life every time I spot a glimpse of the delightful creature. 

However, I know some of his brothers and sisters have committed heinous crimes against Barnumbia students, dumpster diving in the Barnard trash cans and stealing directly from students.

But we’ve all been there, greedy days where we want to eat delicious food until our bellies explode. These squirrels, unfortunately, can’t dine in at a nearby restaurant or stand in line for an order at the Hooda Halal food truck. Personally, if I was a squirrel, I’d dash at the opportunity to try some delicious human food. Squirrels deserve love too and our Nutty Pumpkin doesn’t deserve to be called these shameful names—terrible words such as “fat” and “ugly”—all of which I have been guilty of calling it. This is my encouragement to all Barnumbia students to show a little more love to these squirrels, as they’re all, at the end of the day, trying to survive. 

Featured illustration via Xuyin Zhong

A majestic squirrel via Bwog Archives

Squirrel images via Mia Cariati and Bailey Anderson

Screenshot via Author