Assigning various dorm lounges to Taylor Swift’s discography mostly according to my own whimy (yes, I am biased!)

Debut – Sulz 2 Lounge

A perfect, small town start to the wide wide world of Sulzberger Hall lounges, located on a floor with half as many people as the rest of the building. A floor where you know your neighbors, much like the feeling evoked by Taylor Swift’s self-titled inaugural album. Like the teenage girl with perfect curls, this lounge will pretty much “Stay Beautiful,” and is never as “Cold As You”. In fact, some might argue that it gets a little too warm in the cozy, welcoming space that never smells like anything worse than microwave popcorn or a lingering trace of perfume and a hint of cigarette smoke. You will definitely find “A Place In This World” in the Floor 2 lounge.

Fearless (Taylor’s Version) – Sulz 3 Lounge

You’d have to be Fearless to enter the Floor 3 Lounge, and have incredible breath control because you won’t want to “Breathe” once you step foot on “The Other Side of the Door” to this special circle of communal living hell. “Tell Me Why” the sink is always actively leaking, filled with disgustingly dirty dishes (I saw shrimp tails in there the other day), and the entire lounge smells like a combination of weed, garlic, feces, and Dawn dish soap? I can say confidently that I actively dread going in there to fill up a glass of water and have “The Best Day” when I don’t have to do so (and I can say this because this happens to be my lounge). Despite the smell, and the lack of general hygiene that makes everything virtually “Untouchable”, study groups aplenty love to occupy the sticky table and crumb covered couches. I can’t wait to say “Bye, Bye, Baby” to this lounge come May.

Speak Now – Sulz 5 Lounge

A generally beloved album, and a generally beloved lounge. This is an uncontroversial, easy to exist in space, and a fan-favorite. I wish this lounge was “Mine” because it is in no way “Haunted” or “Mean”. It is a lovely, perfectly “Innocent” lounge where one can happily pass twenty minutes to eat their microwaved Trader Joe’s dumplings or hop on a Zoom call. Special shout out to their dryers, which actually dry my jeans within 45 minutes.

Red– Sulz 4 Lounge

I have nothing much to say about this lounge, and no evidence for the fact that it is the Red album other than the fact that I did leave my scarf on a chair “The Last Time” I was in there, and it was my really warm red wool one so that was very “Sad Beautiful Tragic,” since it was gone when I went back the next day. I will remember that scarf  “All Too Well”. RIP

1989– Sulz 17 Lounge

With a positively incredible view of the city skyline, this lounge certainly says “Welcome to New York”.  It’s the kind of place where you sit with your laptop, pretending to be productive while actually just watching the sunset and romanticizing your life. There’s an undeniable “Style” to it—sleek, bright, and way cooler than you. It’s the perfect spot to reflect on your poor life choices while sipping an iced coffee from Liz’s and asking yourself, “How You Get the Girl?” And yes, you’ll absolutely be back—because much like Taylor, you “Wish You Would.”

Reputation– Sulz 3 Lounge

Okay, yes, I already assigned this one, but unfortunately no lounge has a bigger “Reputation” than the third floor. Today it smelled like sour milk, soy sauce, and feet. It’s unethical. My friends from other floors are never “…Ready For It?” and anyone in there for longer than twenty seconds is searching for a “Getaway Car”. “Don’t Blame Me” I don’t know how it manages to be as disgusting as it is, but all I can say is, “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”.

Lover– Sulz Lobby Lounge

Ah, the Sulz lobby lounge—a reprieve from the chaos of college life. It’s the “Afterglow” after the dark spiral of your academic stress. It’s where “It’s Nice To Have A Friend,” have impromptu life debriefs, and is generally an escape from “The Man”. If the other lounges judge you, this one just says, “You Need to Calm Down.” Whether you’re meeting up before a night out or just escaping your roommate, the Sulz lobby lounge always feels like coming home. Especially if you’re staggering back at 4 AM, “Daylight” imminent, the sight of the Sulz lobby assures you “Soon You’ll Get Better” (or you’ll just throw up in the communal bathroom).

Header Image via Bwog Archive