For anyone experiencing 26.2 miles of FOMO, here’s everything you need to know.

Some people spent months training for Marathon day. Others spent months training their stomachs for the night before. This article is dedicated to everyone who went a little too hard on Halloween and couldn’t quite pull themselves out of bed.

Let’s paint you a picture: You wake up still dressed like the sailor you were last night, makeup halfway down your face, and absolutely no recollection of how you made it home. Meanwhile, your friend is out running 26.2 miles, and your biggest athletic achievement of the day is making it from your bed to the bathroom without spilling your guts. Somehow in the name of friendship, you manage to rally like you’ve never rallied before, throwing on the first article of clothing and trying to ignore the questionable decisions you made the night before.

You make it to the subway, only to realize that apparently, the entire population of New York City has decided to take the train at the exact same time. With every sudden stop, you’re forced to confront the very real possibility that last night’s tequila is about to make an unwelcome second appearance. And just like that, the marathon isn’t the only thing testing your endurance today

After surviving the subway, you emerge onto the streets only to realise the situation above ground is somehow worse. You’re now fighting your way through a sea of spectators, saying “excuse me” approximately 400 times while competing for sidewalk space. Then comes the family of eight, sporting matching T-shirts plastered with giant cutouts of their runner’s face, making it abundantly clear that they aren’t moving for anyone. At this point, you’re practically begging strangers to let you squeeze through, only to end up with a perfect view of the back of someone’s head.

After an hour of traveling, fighting through crowds, and tracking your friend’s location like an FBI agent, the moment you’ve been waiting for finally arrives. You spot them approaching in the distance and immediately start screaming their name like they have returned from war. For about 3 seconds, you’ve made eye contact, exchanged a slimy hug, and attempted to capture this moment on your phone. By the time you look down to check the video, they’re already three blocks away, and all you’ve managed to record is your double chin. 

Hopefully, this little reality check has cured anyone’s marathon FOMO. If not, there’s always next year.

Image via Bwarchives