Pro Tip: Don’t look up “bootiful” online… at least not around other people

You are different. You are a pot of pasta at the end of the rainbow. Stay weird, Columbia. Send in your stories to tips@bwog.com. Remember: Just The Tip.

Friday

• “As far back as the beginning of the semester, ive given serious thought to walking the entire length of broadway from columbia to battery park. This past Friday night/Saturday morning, i thought about the sunrise over lower manhattan, and what an experience it would be if i started at 3:30 am for the 2.5 hour walk, in order to catch the sunrise on the dot at 6 am. Then, it started raining. While a factor, the unfortunate weather was not going to stop me from achieving this personal experience. Then it started pouring. I sat in bed, waiting for the correct time, and contemplated the idea with my roommate, after having told him and several other friends of my plan. The thought of pouring rain, a possible thunderstorm and being alone, with just a jacket, my iPod and phone, and a camera, as well as my state of tiredness and the overthinking i had done into the plan (ie scaring myself with different possibilities such as bad shit happening in the middle of the night, battery park being closed, and there not being a great sunrise due to the weather) eventually forced me to close my eyes and go to sleep, resigning the plan for another time with better weather, and maybe even an equally adventurous person to go with (any of you who enjoy company, a good walk with a friend, and naturally beautiful moments are welcome) But this will happen, and pics and possibly an inspired essay, will be the tangible product. The experience will be the intangible product.”
• “I just heard that a guy in carman took acid during the day on friday, then had an altercation with a cleaning lady (he apparently started taking her stuff and yelling at her–not sure if he hit her) and then NYPD got involved and he was arrested.
  • “Please make this true.”
• “Girl running down hallway: ‘Aah, I can’t deal with my life right now!!’ We offered her a drink.”
• “Sat on the floor with a UWriting friend and we drank away memories of our last essay.”
• “It’s one approach, but realism is not real. It’s a 2D approach to representing a 3D world.” —Student having conversation with a public safety guard about art styles. I had a conversation with this guy about the difficulties of teaching computer programming once.

You are a beautiful sassy rainbow.

Saturday

• “I spent all of saturday night playing Skyrim #noshame”
• “Currently trekking from Flatbush to Columbia while fairly crossed. Pray 4 me.”
• “I walked past ADP (party called Bow Down Bitchez) kicking people off their stoop and ended up at q house scowling at the obnoxious noise in Beta while smoking a cigarette crankily. #grumpyoldman”
• “Went to ADP. At around 12:30/1, I think the cops showed up, and they started kicking everyone out. Then it turned out the party wasn’t being shut down, so they put the music back on and turned the lights back off, but it was only half full and felt weirdly empty the rest of the night. Only Coffeehaus I’ve ever been to that ended all by itself (at 2ish).”
• “’twas Saturday afternoon and our suite in Ruggles received an unexpected knock on its door. Thinking it to be a suitmate who might have forgotten her ID, another suitemate and I went to open the door but didn’t recognize the person standing on the other side. It turned out that our initial assumption was only half-correct; the culprit was indeed locked out of her suite, but her suite happened to be two floors above ours. Too lazy to go all the way to Hartley from Ruggles, and having received no response from the suite on the floor above oursa, she explained to us her intent: to climb out of our window up the fire escape and into the window of her suite.”
  • Having learned that this tried and true method of entry had previously worked for our dear stranded visitor, we approved of this ingenious plan, opened the window, and warned her to take care of the iPhone dangling out of her back pocket as we sent her on her way.
  • Our story was too good to be done just yet, though. After closing the window, its guard, and moving the bottles on the window sill back into their places, we returned to our rooms, laughing. We were still laughing when I spotted our visitor retreating back down the fire escape. We calmed ourselves down as she knocked again, before returning to remove the bottles again and open up the window to let her back in.
  • She was, however, courteous enough to replace the bottles for us before leaving in defeat for Hartley.
    • Moral of this story: Don’t let your suitemates close your kitchen window all the way, kids.

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