Latin–the only thing that’s really relevant to college kids these days

Received 9:47 AM
Dear Bwog,

My roommate and I are still having problems. It’s gotten even weirder and I could really use some advice.

Last night I had what I thought was just a dream. Well, I thought it was but my roommate has been treating me more creepily since. He brought back some weird drink from M2M last night and offered me some. Thinking he was trying to be nicer to me, I accepted and drank all of it down. I knew it was some weird Asian soft drink, but it had this nasty chalky under-taste.

So last night I dreamed that I got up from bed to use the bathroom. Everything was in a haze, and my limbs were moving on their own. As I approached the bathroom, I felt this heat emanating. I heard chanting, reminding me of the music my roommate played on his laptop. I walked in and a wave of hot air blasted me in the face. I could see my roommate and my RA at the sink with what looked like a piece of red meat, cutting portions and squeezing the blood out. I walked over in the dream and my roommate smiled, still chanting in that weird language (up close it sounded more like Latin), before taking some of the blood, rubbing a symbol on my forehead, and tapping me on the crown of my skull.

I don’t remember anything after that. I thought it was all just a horrible dream. But this morning I saw the same plate that he had used in the dream lying on the floor. And when I accidentally closed the closet door on my finger, cutting myself, he ran over to inspect the cut, looking really pale. I thought I heard him say under his breath something about “keeping the body pure.”

I don’t know what to do, it almost seems like I’m being used for…something that he’s doing.

-Freshman and confused

Received 12:08 PM
Dear Bwog,

Things are really, really bad right now. I’m so scared that I’ve been hiding in the closet since my roommate got back. My phone only has 6% battery, so this is the last message I can send out tonight.

I was coming back to my room and the door to the hallway hadn’t closed completely, and I could hear some people inside talking. It was my RA and my roommate again, and although I couldn’t pick up all their words, I could distinctly hear my RA say to my roommate “both be in the room at noon.”

As soon as I was alone, I hid in my closet so that my roommate couldn’t find me. I had a really bad hunch about what was going to happen. Soon my RA walked in. They began setting up for what looked like a ritual. Through the small crack in the closet I can see candles, some type of incense, some red liquid that I hope isn’t blood, and my roommate rubbing symbols on the ground with whatever that liquid is.

They’ve just started chanting. Up close this is even more horrible. I hope they’re finished soon. My head has really been hurting since they started chanting, in the same spot where I was tapped in my dream. My battery is about to run out, so I hope everything ends okay.

Freshman and confused

Received 1:46 PM
Bwog,

omnes salutant cecidit stella matutina, qui carnalia desideria implere terras Hominibus Expandens formidinIs. sed anima impoSui peteRent lucifer coram Impio. duo fidelibus Substernant vobis adponitur solum cogitandum. veni inbriEmur viNo ad aulam cibo vesci. orbis agnoscat horrorem facie enim malitiae collectus nocte. surrexit, surrexit.

Dear Freshman and Confused,

Well, at least one mystery is solved. Your roommate was listening to Latin chants! He’s probably very Catholic, maybe involved in his church choir. He’s probably a little scared to open up to anyone about that, which explains why he panicked when you heard him.

As for your current situation, your roommate and RA probably wanted to surprise you! It sounds like they’re setting up for Halloween with decorations and want you to join in, as a bonding activity. But candles are against housing policy so make sure to use tea lights or something similar. We don’t want anyone getting hurt in your room. Safety is important!

Your concerns over your conflict with your roommate seem to have affected your sleep patterns. Dreams are just figments of your imagination, so you shouldn’t take them to mean much, really. If anything, your dream was probably a reflection of the anxiety you’ve been feeling about solving your issues with your roommie. Nothing more, nothing less. When you think about it, the idea of your roommate and RA completing rituals in the bathroom at night sounds a little ridiculous, right?

And even though we can’t understand the last message you sent, we think it’s great that you and your roommate are bonding over learning and sending messages out in Latin. This could be the beginning of a new shared interest for both of you, and could ameliorate your friendship and roommate relationship.

We hope you have a fun, scary, and spooky Halloween together!

Love,

Bwog

Satanic inscription via Shutterstock