Home sweet home

Listen, first-years—we know that you’re beyond excited to start your academic career at the Columbia University. However, one of your first big decisions you will have to make for school is what you will pack and bring to your new and depressing dorm room. We’ve put together our list of college essentials that aren’t listed in the Bed, Bath, and Beyond pamphlet. Enjoy!

The essentials

• An ID (which may or may not be fake): Columbia’s social life for first years largely revolves around going to bars in the area after pregaming in your Carman double. You’ll want to make sure that you can sit on the 1020 pool table or sip on a margarita at The Heights during NSOP, so find a group now (or when you get to campus) to go in on a group order for IDs. You can absolutely have a fulfilling social life at Columbia without an ID, but your night out is going to feel incomplete if you don’t end up going to the bars with friends around midnight. Invest in a good product and you’ll be set until junior year.
• A sleep mask: Columbia doesn’t give a shit about your quality of sleep, and you will find that you have some pretty crappy shades in your dorm room. You will also likely have a roommate who wakes up at inconvenient times and insists on turning on all the lights. A sleep mask will afford you a few extra hours of sleep/some help getting over your hangover.
• Your old pair of white Converse: No Columbia betch has ever been caught in a frat without their trusty pair of white Converse. By the end of the year, they will be thoroughly covered with sticky alcohol, puke, dirt, and shame. It’s almost like a scrapbook of all your favorite memories!

• Speakers and Spotify Premium: Music is undoubtedly what makes a good pregame (in addition to copious amounts of shitty vodka.) Make sure your party stays lit with some loud speakers and unlimited music uninterrupted by some ad telling you to check out a shitty artist’s new album.
• Extra sheets: You may think that you will make it a month or so without having to change your sheets. Sadly, you are bound to have various fluids spilt on your bed. Saving you the dirty details, make sure you have a back-up set of sheets to put on your bed the next morning.
• Contraception: Momma Bwog here to give you some quick Sex Ed. Don’t be stupid—be prepared for any situation. It’s not a bad idea to have some condoms around in case of an emergency. If you can’t afford to buy these products, you can find some free condoms on campus.
• Muji pens: Anyone using a Pilot G2 pen in lecture is bound to get a C on their first midterm. Muji pens give you the advantage of looking /hip/ while having an orgasmic writing experience as the pen floats over your $1 notebook you bought at Target.
• A corkscrew/bottle opener combo set: Nobody knows struggle better than those who have tried to open a wine bottle with a Swiss Army knife or a plastic knife from Ferris.
• A copy of “Infinite Jest“: Because nothing says you’ve earned your Columbia education quite like saying you’ve made it through this monster of literature.

The more /spiritual/ things

• Independence: You will have various experiences in college where you think you always need to be doing what your floormates are doing, or going to a bar on a Friday night. While it is by far one of the more difficult skills to develop, make sure to challenge yourself to be independent in your decisions (both socially and academically.) It’s ok to go to a museum alone one afternoon, or not go out because you’d rather watch Stranger Things.
• Empathy: Most Columbia students forget that almost everyone is struggling with some form of pressure/stress/mental health struggles. Take the time to recognize that everyone at this school is going through something. This school can foster a selfish mentality where everyone else is your academic competitor, but you will have a healthier experience in college if you come to realize that everyone isn’t necessarily the enemy.
• Willingness to build community: Some colleges go out of their way to make sure you’re making friends every second of your time at the school. Columbia isn’t necessarily like that. While NSOP is a great way to get to know people and make some friends, it’s on you to want to get out there and find your community at Columbia. This could be done by joining a publication, participating in a discussion group, or just sitting down next to someone you don’t know in John Jay.