Please let her lead us

By now, it is old news on both sides of Broadway regarding Barnard President D-Spar resigning this coming March to become CEO and President of Lincoln Center (we didn’t even know that was a thing). Amidst the pride of D-Spar being the first women ever in the position, the gaping hole left in all Barnard students’ hearts needs to now be filled with a newcomer, a fresh face for the bleary days ahead as 2017’s dark clouds roll in on the political and personal fronts for many. Luckily, Bwog is here to offer suggestions to the college’s administration for who should be next to lead Barnard into a new age of feminism (hopefully, one with an equally hypocoristic name as D-Spar). 

Real or fiction, Bwog can dream in these dark days when laughter and hope is needed. So let us ask: Who should be the next Barnard President?

• Professor McGonagall
• Michelle Obama
• My mom
• HRC
• Jill Stein
• Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
• Aunt Jemima
• Pam Cobrin (Barnard’s Writing and Speaking Center Director)
• Laverne Cox
• Emma Sulkowicz
• Christina Ellsberg
• Melania Trump
• Lead singer of Abba
• Mitch McConnell
• Anarchy*
• Anyone but Dean Hinkson
• Suzanne Goldberg
• The Union Rat (We think her name is Scabby?)
• Britt Fossum
• The corpse of Maggie the Magnolia
• The girl who checks IDs at 1020
• Eva Kalikoff

Image via recommendations on how to get Michelle’s arms