Our very first Senior Wisdom of the semester goes to Mo Crist, preeminent Vandenburg stan.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Mo Crist, Barnard College, English and Creative Writing, Sarver, Pennsylvania

Claim to fame: When I moved out of Sulz Tower (I couldn’t stand that Barnard Quad smell. It gave me Sulz/Reid 5 flashbacks) and into 620, the first thing my new suitemate said was “Oh you’re Mo from NSOP!” and at that moment, the world withered around me. Also I’m gay and my glasses are really big.

Where are you going? To bed.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2023?

1. Everyone has rich parents. And if they don’t, they probably have rich grandparents. Literally, the class consciousness at this school is abysmal. If you’re rich, please help your friends who aren’t. Buy them a beer, don’t venmo them as soon as they step into a room, cover an Uber or two. If you’re not rich, take advantage of EVERY grant and fellowship opportunity you can. There are so many offices with semi-hidden funding sources that you can tap into to go to conferences, other events, and even to help with living expenses. The Barnard internship grant saved my life last summer!
2. It’s okay to say no. Sometimes it’s necessary. I never really learned this lesson. Throughout my time here I’ve run multiple clubs, done student theater, joined committees, taken 18+ credits, worked up to 3 jobs/internships at once, all while digging myself into a massive hole that destroyed my mental health. You don’t have to do everything all at once. Pick one or two things that you love and care about and take them seriously. When you spread yourself too thin, you let yourself down and you can let a lot of other people down too.
3. On that note, take things seriously! And respect the time, energy, and work that goes into making this place run smoothly (for the most part). Student leaders of all types (club treasurers, student organizers, student workers, etc) do massive amounts of unpaid labor to ensure that traditions stay intact, fun events go off without a hitch, and necessary change happens on an institutional level. If you want to get involved, do it. But don’t sign up for more than you can handle because the work will fall on someone else. Take stock of the work you see your peers do and thank them for it. They’re the reason Barnard and Columbia can be pretty amazing sometimes.

“Back in my day…” You could buy a tallboy at M2M and drink it on the upper floor while doing your homework. The tunnel of sadness (aka the Milstein Construction Tunnel) forced you to make prolonged eye-contact with all your enemies.Time was measured by the space between Quenta Vettel’s construction updates. Gloria ran the stir fry station at Hewitt and she knew everyone better than they knew themselves.

Favorite Columbia controversy? When Hewitt had a B health rating.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I love my friends.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Everyone and their mother is a Margaret Vandenberg stan but Postmodernism truly changed the way I read books. It was the first class that introduced me to literary theory in a way I could understand and then apply to what I was writing. Vandenberg is so smart and can be super intimidating, but she met with me so many times just to talk about my writing and what I thought about the world. I left that class with a B+ that I was proud of and worked my ass off for.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I’d rather give up.

Whom would you like to thank? My friends for absolutely everything. My advisor, Timea Szell, for being a small and quiet hero. Denise Boneta for showing me that I was good at something even if that something was NSOP. Of course, NSOP. The slam team. GendeRev members of past and present. Chris Woods. Plimpton Hall. Alina Wong. Every dog in Riverside. The music practice rooms in the basement of Shapiro. Paul who hosts trivia at 1020. Jose in Financial Aid. Karina Beras. Claudia at Liz’s Place. Gloria in Hewitt. Every employee at Appletree Deli. And myself for sticking it out.

One thing to do before graduating: Fail a class. It builds character.

Any regrets? Not a single one.