A letter to Columbia University students and affiliates to find my girl Personal Space and bring her home.

Dear CU community,

With a heavy heart, I regret to inform you that one of our own has gone missing. On the 30th of September at approximately 9:38 am EST, this individual evaporated from our lives. This individual goes by no other name than Personal Space.

I understand how this might be confusing to you. Some of you have never met Personal Space in any capacity. An ultimate insider, under the pseudonym Merriam-Webster, has described Personal Space to Tips as “the distance from another person at which one feels comfortable talking to or being next to that other person.” Even if this description appears ambiguous, I think I can help refine it, so we can find Personal Space and bring her home.

As a dear friend of Personal Space, I can assure you that she’s not something to be feared. Quiet and unassuming, she often floats through life at anyone’s beck and call. As long as someone calls her, which you should.

Hey, I get it. Personal Space can seem daunting. Sometimes you’re not sure how much you should engage with her. A couple of inches? One foot? Two??

While I can not speak for Personal Space herself, I can assure you that any attempt to engage with her should result in success. If you reach out to her, she’ll appear, but this has to be a team effort. Whether it’s when you’re in the Ferris line for utensils debating if you should get all up in someone’s grill, or if you’re on the Hamilton stairs and wondering if you should pass the slowpoke in front of you, I guarantee that if you call Personal Space, she’ll show up.

If we all work together, I’m sure we can find Personal Space and escort her back to campus safely. Please, I miss my her, and she’s what gets me through the day.

Sincerely,

A Space-Loving Bwogger

P.S. any insider information on the whereabouts of Personal Space can be sent to tips@bwog.com.