Go ahead, ask out that hot guy from your Econ 101 class.

We’re a month into the semester, and although the temperature is rapidly dropping (hello sweater weather!), romances on campus are heating up! Whether it’s the curly haired boy that lives in your building, or the hot brunette that you met on Low Steps, everyone has someone they’re dying to ask out. Unfortunately, many people run into the problem of choosing where to go and what to do on a first/second/millionth date, and if you’re trying to impress a potential mate, Netflix and Chill just isn’t going to cut it. Luckily for all of you, I’ve compiled a list of the best places to go on a date for all types of couples, so go ahead, get a little frisky this weekend ;)

1. Dinner at Ferris Booth Commons

Do you like waiting in lines? How about waiting in lines in order to wait in slightly shorter, more specific lines? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then Ferris is the perfect spot for your first date! Make awkward small talk with your partner as you struggle to be heard over the conversations of hundreds of other students crowded into a space half the size of your lecture halls! Be wowed by the vegan options listed [disclaimer: none of these options will actually be available to you], and prove your strength by physically fighting other students for the last slices of cake at the dessert station! And if you’re worried about the best way to ~make a move~ on your date, then don’t sweat it, the lack of space will force you two closer together than you imagined in your wildest dreams! By the end of your hour long emotional and spiritual journey navigating this dining hall, I guarantee that you’ll be bonded to your date for life. As a reward for undergoing this grueling experience, you’ll be able to share a slightly burnt, lukewarm pizza together. Mmmm, tastes like romance.

2. Lift together at Dodge Fitness Center

Maybe you and your bae are really into fitness, in which case, good for you I guess! And what better way to get those endorphins flowing than by going on a gym date (there is another physical activity you could do, but I have to keep it PG here guys). Dodge Fitness Center is a pinnacle of engineering design, somehow managing to be not only the smallest gym I’ve ever seen, but also conveniently divided into narrow strips that force you to interact with as many people as possible as you struggle to get by them and to another machine. Go around 6 to 8 pm in order to see as many fitness buffs lifting weights as possible, and assert your dominance over them by stealthily stealing one of the two sets of free weights available in the facility for your partner to use. The completely artificial lighting ensures that everyone looks and feels at their best, and definitely not like you’re trapped in a post-apocalyptic underground bunker. The top level of the center is still closed due to flooding from the hurricanes, but on the bright side, you are almost 100% sure to see someone that you know there, so make sure to practice your awkward wave!

3. Go to a Columbia Soccer game

Soccer has been said by many to be the most romantic sport in the world (source needed). Get ready to watch 90 minutes of riveting action including but not limited to: sweaty men running around a field, sweaty men falling down and yelling, the ball going out of bounds, missed goal opportunities, and if you get really lucky, you might even see someone score! Unfortunately, if you’re an actual soccer and/or Columbia fan, then this event might not be for you, since the Lions currently have the second-worst record in the Ivy League. If this date goes well however, you might have a chance to score another one (unlike a certain soccer team)!

4. Lerner Hall Covid-19 Testing Site

It’s always best to get tested whenever you’re seeing a new partner, and luckily for both of you, there’s a Covid testing site right on campus! Hold hands in the line that wraps all around Lerner as you wait until 6 pm to get your test that was scheduled at 4:30 pm! Awkwardly laugh when the person in front of you coughs a little bit, then share worried glances when they keep coughing for the entire duration of your visit! As a fun bonus, you can comfort your date after they get yelled at for not pulling up their QR code fast enough once you finally do reach the front of the eternal hell that is the testing line. For an extra fun experience, follow up with dinner at Ferris!

5. The Port Authority Bus Terminal

This one is self explanatory.

6. The MOMA

Have you ever thought to yourself: boy, I sure do wish that I could go to a museum today and see multiple jars of human hair, along with two jars of fingernails and toenails? Well have I got good news for you! The MOMA offers this as an exhibit (with picture evidence below), and has other fun “art” including a terrifying painted moose skull, panty hose filled with sand, and 10 jars labeled with various human excrement, including “diarrhea”, “urine”, and “semen”. Wander through room after room with white walls and flooring as you struggle to escape the maze that is this museum, and have scintillating conversations with your date about whether or not a tarp on the floor can really be classified as art. You will leave this museum feeling like a fundamentally worse person than you were when you arrived, but hey, at least you can say you’ve been to the MOMA now!

you and them via Flickr