What if there was a new Department at Barnumbia?

Thousands of Swifties fell to their knees in the middle of grocery stores, airports, malls, and classrooms as the Chairperson of the Tortured Poets Department, formerly known as Taylor Swift, stood smirking on the Grammys stage, having just announced the surprise release of her new studio album.

Bwog has since concluded that this album is about Barnumbia. That’s right, we are all just a bunch of tortured poets around here. It would only make sense for Barnumbia to introduce a new department called the Tortured Poets Department.

This department would be housed in Philosophy so that on our way to classes we can walk past the original tortured poet, the Thinker. The courses offered will be: So Long, Literature in 1980’s London, Fixing Poetry (and him), Guilt and Sin in Poetry, Heartbreak-centric Poetry (How to Keep Doing It), and others. The courses Manuscript Writing and Bolters vs Poets need the instructor’s permission to be taken. There are 13 required courses to graduate.

I am a Computer Science major in SEAS, but if Barnumbia does this, I will transfer schools and change my major. I will graduate with a Bachelor’s in Tortured Poetry.

For anyone with a Tortured Poetry degree, the sky is the limit. One can take up exciting jobs such as being productive at 2 am, cat-whispering, dominating music charts, increasing views at sports events, and, most importantly, writing poetry while being intrinsically tortured. 

Taylor Swift via Bwog Archives