Bumpin’ that.

360 – Economics

“I’m everywhere; I’m so Julia.”

You and everybody else! We get it! Barnumbia doesn’t have undergraduate business, marketing, or communications, which means, truly, econ majors are everywhere. 360 really exudes the better-than-you energy that you all tend to have, so this feels like the perfect choice. You can’t all be “so Julia”, though.

Club classics – Classics (with a dance minor)

“When I get to the club I wanna hear those club classics, club classics, club club classics.”

Take a shot every time you hear the word “classics!” Obviously, this is the perfect song for classics majors, especially those who have additionally taken on the (very popular) dance minor. Always a good time.

Sympathy is a knife – Computer Science (at Barnard)

“I don’t wanna share this space.”

Quite frankly, Barnard baddies have to share a space with (often gross) SEAS men too frequently, especially when majoring in CS. On top of having to coexist with some of the most rancid males in every single core class (shoutout Barnard for not starting a CS department until 2019), the toxic competition culture and constant gaslighting by men who think they know more than you is not for the weak. “Says he just don’t see it, he’s so naive” is your anthem, and we’re definitely feeling sympathetic. 

I might say something stupid – Philosophy

“I might say something stupid.”

This song feels just as existential as philosophy is. And yes, we’ve all been in a seminar with a philosophy major who, 9 times out of 10, will be saying something stupid during a discussion. Sorry (but not really). However, I think we can all relate to you. We have all said something stupid. Has a philosopher proclaimed that yet?

Talk talk – Political Science

“Wish you’d just talk to me, talk to me, talk to me. Oh, talk to me in French, talk to me in Spanish, talk to me in your own made-up language, doesn’t matter if I understand it.”

Unfortunately, political science majors will never shut up. You just talk to talk talk, all the time, and no, it doesn’t matter what is being said. You also can’t get mad at this because one of the writers is studying political science (and also loves a yap session). P.S.: Being told you would be a great lawyer as a child was not a compliment. 

Von dutch – English

“I’m your number one yeah, I’m just livin’ that life.”

We all wanted to be you at one point. We are just jealous of you. Sure, there might be a lot of readings, but at the same time, it must be blissful to stay in the world of fiction. You can’t not be living that life (von dutch) when your concentration is creative writing and you get to spend hours writing about whatever comes to mind. Lucky bastards.

Everything is romantic – Art History/Visual Arts

“Everything is, romantic (ooh).”

Yes, romanticize your life some more! Truly, everything is romantic at the MET. Also, you just love the Italian Renaissance. 

Rewind – History

“Recently, I’ve been thinkin’ ’bout a way simpler time, sometimes I really think it would be cool to rewind.”

This one may seem obvious, but to be fair, your major is literally the past. What does this say about you? Are you perpetually stuck in your past, thinking about that one time you said “orgasm” instead of “organism” in 9th-grade biology? Truly, we’ve all heard a history major say, “I was born in the wrong generation,” at least once. (Bonus points if said generation was during an era of extreme inequality)! 

So I – Pre-med

“So, I know I can cry, I can cry, so I cry.”

We know, “it’s a track, not a major,” but we don’t care. Pre-meds almost always put up a strong front and seem inimitable by the rest of us common folk, but the fact of the matter is that being pre-med is always on your mind and you all are perpetually crying and stressed (every day, every night). At least Charli quotes SOPHIE; “it’s okay to cry”!

Girl, so confusing  – Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies

“It’s so confusing sometimes to be a girl (girl, girl, girl).”

All three of these things are girl, so confusing. I mean, you literally study the concepts of womanhood, sexuality, and gender. What else could be “Girl, so confusing”? And we know that if you had a scuffle with anyone, of course you’d be willing to work it out on the remix. 

Apple – Psychology

“I know there’s lots of different nuances to you and me.” 

Does the apple fall from the tree? Seems like something psychology majors would get to the bottom of. Driving to the airport at any minor inconvenience feels like escapism, which is definitely something that you deal with a lot when people ask you to pathologize them (since, you know, being a psych major makes you a therapist). Better grab that DSM-5!

B2b – Biochemistry

“Back to back to back to back to back to back.”

Back to back to back classes and homework. Truly, doing a major that requires 20 individual courses is clinically insane. Was biology or chemistry just not good enough for you? Or are you just a masochist? Either way, you aren’t escaping your self-inflicted back to back to back grind. Have fun!

Mean girls – Drama and Theatre Arts

“And she’s kinda fucked up, but she’s still in Vogue.”

As much as people love to hate on theater kids, they’re fun to be around for a fixed period of time. You’re funny, often charming, and unfortunately, genuinely talented. Audition season, however, can turn you into monsters—sometimes it feels like watching several packs of lions all hunt the same gazelle. You guys are cutthroat, but even so, we’re amazed at your talents. Plus, Mean Girls is a musical now.

I think about it all the time – Math

“‘Cause my career feels so small in the existential scheme of it all.”

Tackling the entire subject of “math” in your undergraduate degree is something only those with the strongest will would even consider. Good on you, but the constant struggle of having to prove theories would make us too existential to function. Writing proofs is a form of torture and probably makes you question the meaning of life anyway, so you really are thinking (about it) all the time. 

365 – Financial Economics

“365, party girl (bumpin’ that). Should we do a little key, should we have a little line?” 

Like economics, you’re everywhere, but with less cool-girl marketing/PR and more investment banking. You work 365 to secure that coveted Goldman Sachs summer internship four years from now. If you’re a man, this makes you insufferable, but if you’re not, good for you! Also, coke! Bumpin’ that. 

Hello goodbye – Neuroscience

“I don’t know what’s going on.”

You love to say you’re studying “neuroscience” and receive praise from friends or family, but the minute you get home, you’re having a breakdown. It’s okay not to know what’s going on! We sure wouldn’t if we were in your classes. One of the writers of this article spent a single semester as a neuro major and promptly completely changed their plan of study, so we salute you.

Guess – Anthropology & Human Rights

“You wanna guess the color of my underwear, you wanna know what I got going on down there.”

“Guess” feels like an analysis of the human experience, and in addition, being horny is a human right. Anthropology majors as a group are already obsessed with studying and understanding all facets of humanity, but when human rights gets added as a second major, sluts are born—-and we couldn’t be happier about it. Someone has to analyze these lyrics and let us know why we’re all obsessed with it!

Spring breakers – Film Studies

“Got my finger on the detonator, crazy girl shit, gonna go spring breakers.”

“Spring breakers” is obviously referencing the 2012 cult classic film, Spring Breakers, so this just comes naturally. Also, as a bonus track, “Spring breakers” gives the energy of film almost always being a secondary major. “Oh, I’m studying English and film!” Sounds familiar, right? You’re here for a good time, not a long time, and we love you for it. Please don’t forget us if you ever become famous. 

“Bwat” via authors