Just your favorite furry little friend stopping by to say hi on your midnight night walk back to Carlton Arms.

You hate me…or you love me.

I am like one of your desperate exes. I scurry around you. My beady eyes follow you. I want to go in. The door will not stop me. The Public Safety attendant will not stop me. I want in. And I will get in. Although, for now, I am satisfied with the sidewalk life.

Your visiting friends see me and they giggle. Is it fear or admiration? Better if it’s both. Parents’ weekend this Saturday and Sunday? Can’t wait to meet them too!

I am so happy you chose the farthest dorm. It’s nothing to be scared of…just come closer! I don’t have fleas anymore (or at least I think). Well, at least none of the black plague ones. That was a real low point for us rats.

How did I get so big, you may ask? Sheer willpower. And from the crumbs you drop when you’re tired. Just so you know, I’m loving the new Canes. Portion sizes are excellent for us (not so) little fellas.

Unlike my (worse off) Nutcracker counterparts, I am perpetually awake and moving. Unlike that awkward rodent, I am not a villain. I only just want to stop by and say hello. (Plus, what does Lincoln Center have that Carlton Arms doesn’t?)

Every day, I see you slink back from Butler just that little bit later. I anticipate our forthcoming 3 a.m. meetups.

See you soon!

Image via Bwog Archives