Finally, a show that seeks to answer the question every quantum physics student finds themselves asking: “When am I ever going to use this?” 

On Sunday, December 7, Staff Writer Nadia Lam and Guest Writer Sydney Kaufman attended XMAS!20. This year’s XMAS!, Columbia’s annual non-denominational student-written holiday musical show, was co-written by Yahney-Marie Sangaré (CC’28) and Wyatt Nash (CC’28), directed by Wren Pfetcher (BC ’27), and assistant directed by Molly Hahn (SEAS’27).

XMAS!20: The Empty Seat is set on December 24, 1989, both Christmas Eve and the second night of Hanukkah at Columbia University. In a catchy tune composed by Jack Rado (CC ’27), directed and orchestrated by Diego Carvajal Núñez (CC ’27), and lyricised by Anna Steel (CC ’27), the story begins with the musical number “A Perfect Paper”, in which The Artist (Kai Joseph, CC ’26) and The Engineer (Jorim Chua, GS ’28), two Columbia students who are trying to finish their University Writing paper due by midnight, break into a Columbia building with a crowbar from Columbia Hardware. On the other end of the stage, Santa (Ethan Robledo-Perez, CC ’28) and Dean of SEAS (Justine Dugger-Ades CC ’26) strike a deal for SEAS to take over CC. In exchange for what? Both writers aren’t too sure because the mics were not working in the production’s favour. Nevertheless, the show’s premise was still easy to follow without the exact knowledge of the deal. 

Upon realising they’ve only written half a page for their assignment, The Engineer prays to Santa Claus for a Christmas miracle, who shows up and is knocked out with The  Artist’s crowbar in an absolutely standout performance from Joseph, who impresses throughout the show with an excitable naivete that at times teeters on manic. Joseph also displays sharp comedic timing, even in the background, such as when he chugs an entire bottle of liquor during a later-on cabaret scene. As The Engineer, Chua similarly displayed expressive acting range, most notably as a stellar comedic foil reacting to The Artist’s antics, which involved disguising Santa with a fruit roll up. This brought about a hilariously memorable dynamic between the lead duo.

Besides the main plot with The Artist and The Engineer’s UW paper and the deal between Santa and SEAS, the sub-plot of the sapphic throuple of Elves (played by Zora Day-Friedland, BC ’28, Isabella St. Juste, BC ’27, and Lulu Gillies, CC ’29) was a joy to watch. This was especially due to the colourful costumes each elf wears, designed by Ava Kreutziger (CC’28), and co-assistant designed by Sofia Oltramari (CC’27) and C-Team Son Sebastian Bader (CC’26). 

The true crowd-favourite sub-plot, though, featured a Morton Williams cashier (Cooper Antczah, CC’28), who brought about much laughter thanks to his truly absurd monologue detailing the customers he’s met during his shifts. Antczah does an excellent job in his commitment to a fourth-wall-breaking character, and his monologue is accompanied by grandiose choreography from Melañia Horowitz. However, it does take some time for the audience to reorient themselves to the main plot after the Morton Williams bit ends since it stands so well on its own.

Act 1 ends with the introduction of Ed-Koch-existence naysayer Judah Maccabee, played by Nathan Rakolta (CC ’27), who steals the show with his contagious enthusiasm and commanding performance. With Santa missing (knocked out by The Artist and The Engineer, who are now on the run from the Elves), Judah plots to become the “new boss” of Christmas and renames Elf #3 “Eleazar,” seemingly after another prominent Maccabee. Staff Writer Nadia thoroughly enjoyed Rakolta’s performance. She found his energy admirable and was captivated by how Rakolta fully embodied his character, down to the subtlest mannerisms.

Guest Writer Sydney similarly loved Rakolta’s exceptional performance, but believes there are times where the Judah character itself feels reduced to Judaism-related quips and humor by the writing. As a Jewish viewer, she found many of these bits are still indeed quite charming, in no small part thanks to a knockout delivery by Rakolta. Memorable crowd pleasers take place in the first act’s finale when Judah tosses geld to the audience and ends the number in a chair supported by other cast members in a mock-hora. This is, of course, not the only side to the character: Judah also commentates on how the New York City he once knew is changing, which serves to provide him with some depth alongside callbacks to his family motivations. That being said, his introduction to the story marks the beginning of the secular holiday show taking a turn for the Jewish that extends far beyond the reaches of Hanukkah, and is not necessarily the most precise; for one example, at one point Judah declares directly to the audience that, under his reign, the Upper West Side will look like it’s “the second coming” when Jews rather famously do not believe that the first has yet occurred… though Sydney supposes she mustn’t read too deeply into theological inaccuracies in a production that prides itself on blasphemy.

She hopes not to look the gift horse of positive Jewish representation attempts in the mouth, but given the lack of equivalent Christian characters (or characters of any other religion) who espouse copious religious references unrelated to their winter holiday in the same manner, the show’s heavy focus on the character’s identity as a Jew presents as a somewhat curious choice. All this to say, it is most critical to emphasize that Rakolta shines brilliantly in this production, and all hail Judah Maccabee.

Beautifully choreographed by Ella Leferman (BC’28), Act 2 opens with the musical number “Down on the Beach”, which showcases Robledo-Perez and Dugger-Ades’ outstanding vocals. The rest of Act 2 is mainly set in the bar Augie’s, run by a flamboyant emcee (also played by Antczah), and stunningly built by Master Carpenter Oscar Landa Samano (CC’26). After The Dean of SEAS leads everyone in a rousing anti-CC chorus, Santa comes back and is about to sign the deal with her. 

With elaborate lighting by Co-Lighting Designers Isabelle Cowan (BC’26) and Abigail Fixel (BC’26) and Assistant Lighting Designer Cora Selzer (BC’28), Real Santa (Zach Brown, CC’27) dramatically enters the theatre from the back doors, colourful and dramatic lights changing in-time with Brown’s powerful vocals, as he threaten everyone with plagues for sinning on Christmas. 

But not all hope is lost! The characters are saved by sharing the company of their loved ones, which results in The Artist and The Engineer realising their love for each other, even making plans to see each other next semester. Equally important, Real Santa answers The Engineer’s prayer, handing him and the Artist a perfect UW paper!

The story ends humorously with The Artist and The Engineer rushing to their UW professor’s house, handing in their paper (which elucidates on the extremely pressing topic of the undeniable sexiness of teachers…) at exactly midnight. Then, the emcee is revealed to be the Prophet Elijah, a Jewish figure with no association with Hanukkah, but who enjoys a brief exchange with Judah regarding his role in the springtime holiday of Passover, and prophesizes 2025 Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani as the messiah. In unison, the cast sings about Zohran Mamdani. The harmonious blend of voices from the talented cast enraptured the audience, and reminded everyone of the core message of the show—XMAS! is for everyone. 

This year’s XMAS! was clearly produced with much love, especially on the technical end, with tech director Su Khadka (BC’26) and stage manager Alina Pucci (BC’27). Electric acting from a spectacular cast, an immensely catchy music score, and excellent direction from Pfetcher made XMAS!20 the perfect show to set the mood for the holiday season. Both of these writers had nearly as much fun watching XMAS!20 as the cast clearly had performing it, and they’re excited to see what lies in store for XMAS! next year!

Image of XMAS!20 Playbill via Authors