Now, we all know that lackadaisical first-years are prone to getting locked out of their rooms. Or sexiled (Yes, sex does occur at Columbia. We estimate at least five instances of sexual intercourse since September—-all coming Saturday night after Columbia’s last second victory over Princeton in basketball). But Bwog just learned of a different kind of upset: someone on the sixth floor of Carman is locked in his room due to a lock malfunction. The fire department is on its way.

Well, we suppose it’s still better than being “sexed-in,” when a roommate in the innermost room of a walk-through double is blocked from exiting (and sometimes even from the bathroom) because of his roommate’s amorous activities.