Sick of hearing about Ahmadinejad? Of course you are! But watch this anyway.

And are you sick of real estate tycoons conspiring with major universitites in order to mind-control unsuspecting students using electromagnetic satellites? Then you, my paranoid friend, have something in common with a former SIPA student who has spent the past week spamming dozens of news outlets with a “Letter to President Bollinger.”

Writes former American Prospect staffer and blogger David Maxwell Fine:

“In your introduction of the President of Iran you said, ‘Lastly, in universities (sic), we have a deep and almost single-minded commitment to pursue the truth.’ 

   

The truth happens to be that these satellite-broadcast advanced electromagnetic technologies that can control human anatomy and physiology are secretly influencing

our world in many ways today, up to the highest levels, and have been for decades.”

The culprit? Why who else but New York real estate magnate Robert Tishman, the criminal mastermind behind these “advanced satellite electromagnetic technologies which can control human anatomy, physiology, and the brain.”

Far be it for us to poke fun at this obviously-distressed (or, conversely, comedically ingenious) individual. We nevertheless note, in all seriousness, that this is probably the most cogent analysis of last week’s events that Bwog has come across.

-ARR