“Am I celebrating 4/20? I’m not sure what you mean, officer.” “Fishermen? What fishermen? I didn’t see no fishermen…” (NPR) “Heroin? No, that’s not my heroin. Those kilos spontaneously appeared out of my 13th story window.” (NY Post) “Atlas Shrugged? Nope, never heard of it; I’m just going to nationalize this multinational oil conglomerate over here.” (NYT) “Corruption? We’re just […]
Just Another Nobel Prize—but What Do You Figure Fox Will Comment on Tomorrow? Remember that Increase in Financial Aid? SAC Commands CUC to Stand Firm in Its Commitment Marvin Stewart Packs Pepper, Unidentified Minuteman Kicks Protester on National Television; You Heard It Here First Spectator Photo Coverage Foreshadows Varsity Show Publicity, Other People Get Nastier […]
I Found Columbia’s Biggest Fan Of Chef Don’s Pizza Pi
May 3, 2025The Complete And Definitive Ranking Of Every Single Soda
April 30, 2025QUIZ: How Fucked Are You?
April 29, 2025Barnard College Alumni Protest Annual Gala
April 29, 2025