Are they for real? We’re not quite sure. But the Philolexian Society does meet every Thursday, and they are quite serious about what they discuss–last night, whether humans or whales should be saved. Bwog Philo correspondent Josh Schwartz has this report.

philoAt the hour of eight and a half, the Philolexian society, Columbia’s oldest student organization, founded in 1802 by cohorts of Alexander Hamilton, gathered in the J. D. Satow room in Lerner to munch on cake, cookies and carrots before launching into passionate debate and off color jokes.

However, before the debate and whatnot can commence, a member must present him/herself before the society and proffer up a literary exercise.  This week’s victim was Adam Katz, CC ’08, who gave an inspiring and nuanced reading of his most recent poetic output.  Katz, an English major focusing on the ins and outs of verse, presented a sestina, a villanelle, and, finally, a lighthearted piece on the more ridiculous side of professional sports.

Finally, the debate could begin.  The night’s topic read thusly: “Resolved: Save Us Not the Whales.”  Some speakers chose to use the topic as a dichotomization between environmental and human concerns, while others preferred to focus more on its anti-whale sentiment.  One freshman speaker gave an especially entertaining speech, in which she alerted her audience to the dangers of an aquatic mammal whose mass is much larger than that of a human in a world that is three-fourths water.  Not only that, but with global warming and the ocean levels rising, they just may be invading.  One Philo member called out that they may even be infiltrating, since our bodies are also 80% water.  Mini-whales?  Bastards.

When all was said and done, the resolution failed, leaving the whales free and safe…. for now.