You came to Columbia for the unique and rich pit of cultural fabulosity that is New York City. Naysayers from your hometown warned you about subway muggings, ridiculous food prices, and deadly air quality, but you weren’t scared. You were prepared.

Except for the one thing they never tell you about: the pesky problem of pigeons. New York is plagued by them. It prostrates itself before their paramountcy.

Until today. Columbia offers you its protection with the new campus pigeon punting team, coming soon to Low Library step near you. Watch this useful introductory video to learn about their exercises and listen to some beautiful piano. Godspeed, punters. And sorry, Hawkma.