2013, you’ve just arrived on campus, and we know it’s rough out there. Orientation is awkward. You don’t know these people. You have to play Two Truths and A Lie and decide what color M&M you would be. “Wait, blue?! ZOMG, me too!”

So while you desperately try to settle in, consider what your comrades at other colleges are being forced to do for their orientations. You are not alone.

  • The kids at Brown, who are probably engaging in their daily nude roll in the mud right about now, are grouped into tables for certain meals according to interests. There’s a ‘Would You Rather?’ table, one for Computer Science & Gaming, and worse still, one for Philosophy. Brown also hosts a First-Year (hey, that’s what we call them!) Festival, where 2013-ers will have the chance to “speed meet” their classmates and then sing karaoke in front of them.  Plus, the “stalk Emma Watson” game might grow stale around Wednesday.
  • Freshmen at Wesleyan can but pray that this year’s Orientation will include a few highlights from 2012: a square dance and group skit performances, complete with multiple rounds of rehearsals.
  • NYU’s Tisch started off Orientation with a bang: on their first night in the big city, Tisch students were treated to an activity they will soon find as natural as breathing: attending a loft party! Instead of a deserted warehouse in Bushwick, however, NYU is holding its Freshman ‘Loft Party’ in the slightly more upscale Rosenthal Pavilion on Washington Square South.
  • Carleton College introduces new students to the library with a Clue-inspired murder mystery. Actually, who are we kidding, that sounds kinda awesome.
  • Johns Hopkins may well take the cake on excruciating orientation activities. For starters, there’s a ‘Pajama Jam Dance Party.’ Next up, the most insanely awful Orientation activity we found: an obstacle course titled ‘Stay the Course: The Beer Goggles Challenge.’ Let the description speak for itself: Don’t think alcohol can impair your abilities? Take the beer goggles challenge and navigate an obstacle course wearing the infamous “drunk goggles”. Can you find your way B.A.C home?

As if AlcoholEdu wasn’t punishment enough. Say goodbye to your parents, and be happy you’re not in Baltimore.

– ECS