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Columbia Class of 3012

Tipster Ron G. sends us these screenshots from the latest episode of Futurama. The school has everything from iconic gates… …to red-brick, neoclassical buildings and the Van Am tholos … …to cheap tuition. But Columbia(c) is not the first university to be featured on Futurama. A few weeks ago, an episode set in the sewers […]

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Orientation Schadenfreude

Orientation can be fun, provided you’re drunk or Kenneth the page. Columbia is very nice to you during NSOP (relish it!) and rents out the Met and everyone smiles and tells you where Pupin is when you ask them. There is, however, the underlying problem that you don’t know any of these people, and there’s […]

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NSOP Schadenfreude!

2013, you’ve just arrived on campus, and we know it’s rough out there. Orientation is awkward. You don’t know these people. You have to play Two Truths and A Lie and decide what color M&M you would be. “Wait, blue?! ZOMG, me too!” So while you desperately try to settle in, consider what your comrades […]

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Last Stop for the Watson Rumor Train

Put down the wands – a wizard will not be joining the Columbia community in the fall. Multiple tipsters alerted us (with startling quickness) to Emma Watson finally going on the record about her Ivy destination. And yes, as predicted, Brown won this battle. Guess we’ll have to settle for the White House.

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Men’s Basketball Beats Brown, Moves to 2nd in League

 – Columbia University Athletics Looking better each weekend, the Columbia men’s basketball team won its third game in a row (and sixth in seven), holding off Brown 70-57. Junior guard Pat Foley scored a career-high 21 points, and freshman guard Noruwa Agho added 17 more, including 14 in the second half, to lead the team […]

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If ever there were a “hot seat” upon which a major university president could sit, it would undoubtedly be between Harvard law professor Lani Guinier and NAACP legal defense fund head Ted Shaw. As two of the country’s top civil right’s scholars, and as two people profoundly troubled by, and conversant in, the state of […]

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Football Recap: Triumph v. Brown

In which CML recapitulates this weekend’s football game, and shares the lesson of promising mediocrity. Early this Saturday morning, the Columbia football team arrived in scenic Providence, Rhode Island for their final game of the season. They were greeted by a jolly bear reminiscent of the old Smoky ad campaigns, a large cadre of stoners […]

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Or Just Take It for R Credit

Overheard after Columbia’s ten-point victory over Brown in Friday’s basketball game: “Too bad for them you can’t pass/fail in basketball.” –Gautam Hans–

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Cubmail Falls Prey to Snooping Sociologists

A writer at the Brown Daily Herald has alerted the Columbia College Student Council that, for a year between 2003-2004, CUIT sold our emails to Columbia panopticists, er, sociologists, Gueorgi Kossinets and Duncan Watts for this Science article. The study, which discusses the formation and evolution of social networks, did not name the “large university” […]

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Recent Comments

Great news. Every Columbia student living off-campus in Harlem or MH is causing gentrification. The best thing Columbia can do (read more)
Columbia Officially Files To Build New Graduate Student Housing And McDonald’s On Manhattanville Lot
December 8, 2019
Chaotic neutral and chaotic evil should be switched. Sitting on the inclined tables is deeply unsettling but doesn't actually inconvenience (read more)
An Alignment Chart Based On Where You Sit In Ferris
December 8, 2019
This is a great idea. Cheaper, better artists, and more people will be able to attend at lower ticket prices. (read more)
Bacchanal To Be Moved Off-Campus To Terminal 5
December 8, 2019
Amazon, Facebook, Google, Netflix are all moving to Hudson Yards. (read more)
Bwoglines: Amazon Is Coming To Town
December 8, 2019

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