The Best of the Worst

24-CAT-POETBwog presents the winners of the Philolexian Society’s 24th Annual Alfred Joyce Kilmer Memorial Bad Poetry Contest. We hear it was positively painful to your ears.

Winner: “Balloon Boy by Philip Glass” by Edward Rueda (CC’05), with Everett Patterson (CC’06), 2009 Kilmer Laureate

1st Runner-Up: “Ballad of the Frozen Heart” by Laura Baur-Jaronowski (CC’06)

2nd Runner-Up: “Hamilton and Madison” by Alec Webley (SAS’11, UPenn)

Dishonorable Mention: “Stalker, a Love Poem” by Marley Weiner (BC’10)

Dishonorable Mention: “Tubular” by Samantha Kuperberg (BC’10)

Dishonorable Mention: “Chinese Teashop Rap” and “Crime and Punishment Rap” by Dexter Thompson-Pomeroy (CC’12)

Dishonorable Mention: Untitled math sonnets by Adam Levine (GSAS)

Dishonorable Mention: “If God, Then: Newark, New Jersey. Or: Up, Up, Down, Right, Left, Dog Poop. Or: God/Jay Michaelson: The Antichrist?” by Michal Richardson (BC’06)

The texts, audio clips, pictures, and even a video of the winner, will all be posted on Phlog in the next couple days. Check regularly for updates!


41 °F, Fair

Contact Us

It's Bwog, not BWOG.

Follow us on Twitter!

Questions or concerns?

Bwog is always looking for new writing talent. to inquire about contributing.

Subscribe

Archives

Have Your Say

Who is your Valentine this year?

View Results

Comment Policy

Favorite Comments

Recent Comments

Bwogroll

Paying the Bills

Housing

The Greystone offers boutique hotel style living on the Upper West Side at 91st and Broadway.

Advertise with Us

Inquire at ads@bwog.com

Upcoming Events

Lost and Found

  • Lost: Paul Smith Wallet (Feb 02 2012)
    I lost a Paul Smith, multi-striped leather wallet (red, yellow, green, etc.) and it should have a insurance card and metro card among other things. Reward offered, wy2185@columbia.edu

  • Lost: Lion Laundry Gym Bag (Feb 01 2012)

    I lost a Lion Laundry bag full of gym items. Contact sac2171.

  • Lost: Burberry Coat (Feb 01 2012)

    Black puffy coat with two layers and Burberry plaid pattern on lining. Last seen at Lerner Party Space during Black Students Organization (BSO) party on January 20. Please contact jyc2130@columbia.edu if found. Reward offered.

  • Lost: Ivory Scarf (Jan 31 2012)

    Yellowish ivory scarf with a lot of print on it. Most likely to be found at 504 Diana or LRC SIPA. If found then you shall be rewarded with my eternal gratitude. Contact: an2503@barnard.edu

  • Lost: Blackberry (Jan 30 2012)

    Last seen in the Hartley computer lab at around 9 am, on 1/30/12. No case; no password; background is a generic picture of a rower on a lake. About 2 years old and showing its wear. Contact: etp2109.

  • Lost: Burberry Scarf (Jan 28 2012)

    Last seen at Il Cibreo on January 19 around 1am. It’s beige cashmere with unique colors which complete the original burberry pattern. If you took it by accident please contact aln2133@columbia.edu. If you took it because you like it, not cool.

  • Lost: Tacky Umbrella (Jan 23 2012)

    I lost my umbrella today in Schermerhorn 612. I had class until 12:15, went back tonight around 6 pm, and it was gone. It is Paris themed, so it has the eiffel tower, arc du trimpuh etc. Email lgg2110@barnard.edu.Thanks!

  • Found: Black T-Mobile Phone (Jan 23 2012)

    Black T-Mobile phone found on 113th and Broadway (sidewalk by Chase). Contact asvokos@gmail.com for retrieval.

  • Found: Vera Bradley Wallet (Jan 22 2012)

    Picked it up in the Wien Courtyard. It is red, with like a somewhat paisley pattern on it, and has a turtle key-chain on it. Contact ecs2150@columbia.edu.

  • Found: Brown NordicTrack Men’s Jacket (Jan 22 2012)

    I found a brown NordicTrack men’s jacket at Havana. Email kea2116@columbia.edu with inquiries.

  • Send us your notices of lost or found items!