Plan_nine_from_outer_spaceUnderperforming public schools—Bloomberg’s on the case.

Natural History Museums that don’t grant PhDs in comparative biology—but Manhattan doesn’t have one of those anymore.

Anything involving the New Jersey Nets—literally, anything.

Being Hofstra and having a football team… wait, really?

Drinking your alcohol.

UPDATE: A commenter has notified us of a Columbia-related news item – James Franco defends the artistic value of his upcoming performance in General Hospital.  At least someone’s been productive in Butler 209.