59 Comments
‘Tis the commercial season, and the Bwog staff has its own list for the big man in the red suit.
In Dear Old Butler
A slightly warmer 209 and slightly cooler Butler everywhere else
Wifi faster than molasses on the 4th floor
A 1:1 ratio of Guys:Girls bathrooms
The return of free hot water in Blue Java
Opening of the tunnels for warmer and faster access to buildings (like Butler…)
More (leather) armchairs in libraries
Housekeeping
Fox Soccer Channel on Columbia’s cable system
A working dishwasher
Reversal of dorms’ anti-air conditioner unit policy
Renewed sense of decency that leads men to flush toilets regularly
That Housing lets me keep my dingle
Consistent and fast internet access in Barnard housing
To always have a view of at least one bridge
A ban on walk-through doubles under 48 square feet of space
Placement in a blind double with my new roommate, Aaron Phillips
Eating out
Oren’s to be open after 9
Free hot chocolate and coffee all year round in John Jay.
Later closing time at Brownie’s
A free food-filled semester
For the cupcake truck to come this far uptown
Panera/Au Bon Pain/Cosi to move into old Empanada Joe’s spot
Ferris Booth salmon steaks not synthesized in Pupin
For Hamdel to accept Flex
More trendy food trucks in the Columbia area
For Ferris to adjust the currently skewed rice-to-fish ratio in its sushi
The campus at large
Administrators who don’t give canned responses
Stairs that exit the Broadway side of lerner
For all the shiny new buildings being built on campus to finally be open.
Less slippery surfaces (ahem, Butler entrance, Low steps, etc) or better shoes, or a Winter Wipeout service to come help you up when you fall down
A fall concert
An express line to magically appear in the 116th station
A 24 hour Avery
Gates that stay open at the north end of campus
More regular screaming
Simon Schama to teach a real history class
Installation of pedestrian footbridges that permit students to cross campus diagonally
SGO computers taken off lock-down
Registration for a Creative Writing class
For Columbia-Barnard dorm swipe access (no signing in between the two schools)
Decent curves in engineering classes
For Lerner Mail to quickly process incoming mail
That amorphous “something’s cooking” smell
A large cup of coffee always in hand
For all my classes to be within 3 blocks from me
For the discipline to do work throughout the semester (and not just at the end)
A not stressful, very productive, and fun next semester
The Wider World
For people to know that I do science, yet am in CC! Imagine that!?
Sudden surge in tax revenues that allows the MTA to lower MetroCard prices
Flex dollars in the East Village
Snow pants for snow frolicking
A snowstorm every two weeks
For daylight savings time to start up again (for the sun to set at a time that isn’t 4:30)
A job
A roaring fire at home
To never have to fly on December 23rd again
The right to marry
– Photo via Flickr
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59 Comments
@Hahah I was going to say for seas women \curves\ = grades, for seas men \curves\ = women and an automatic A in bastard physics courses.
@Merv the Perv I actually laughed a little when I read \decent curves in engineering classes\ …I thought that you were asking for some more seas women with curves, but alas, you punks are asking for more grade inflation. Console yourself with the fact that you, unlike your grade-inflated liberal arts brethren, will have a job in four years.
@decent curves in engineering classes I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who laments the lack of eye candy in the engineering department.
@yes! i’m glad somebody caught this!
@oh ssol Only 1 out of my 5 grades were posted just now, but at least that’s something. I guess even TAs/professors need a holiday…Must be such a drag to have to submit grades this time of year. Still, it’s frustrating.
@Anonymous now
@for some reason ssol was not updated this morning!
@Anonymous check no
@i want to watch jiasi chen and lili gu bone
@I believe the updates are only viewable at 7:30. The system somehow processes the data at 3 or 4 (12 on weekends), but it’s only available for viewing several hours later. And you get an email at the moment there is any news.
@Really? really? cause I don’t
@Anonymous does anyone know when the deadline is for posting final grades on SSOL?
@Anon From: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/vpaa/handbook/obligations.html
“Faculty are expected to submit their grades no later than 72 hours after the final examination.”
Yeah, right.
@just That’s the first I ever heard of that. I believe the registrar’s website says that students can expect grades within one to two weeks of the final, which I think is more reasonable. The only deadlines that seem to apply are those in May.
@Ah, this gets asked every year by unwitting freshmen. Unfortunately, the unhelpful answer is: whenever your professor/TA feels like it. In the meantime check SSOL obsessively, which I’m sure you’re already doing…
@which is conveniently updated only between 12-3 AM EST. Convenient, that is, if you happen to live in India or Japan.
@WAKE UP COLUMBIAAAAAAAAAA
@jester and the food prices on certain campus spots are insane, especially the engineering cafeteria
@Why would you ever eat there? It’s got the lowest hygiene rating on the entire campus.
@I suppose he finds it convenient. Perhaps the “jester” is an engineer? Anyway, you can’t have a very high standard of hygiene, so to speak, when you’re situated one door across from one of the least cleaned mens’ rooms in the campus. I suppose that leads back to the already tired discussion of bathroom manners several lines above. Ah well.
@jester columbia needs a SUBWAY sandwich shop, a dunkin donuts, and a chipotle actually on or near 116th st
@God forbid you have to walk six blocks.
@seriously? welcome to new york, freshman… you’re not in LA anymore. lace up those sneaks.
@seriously? you are complaining about walking to the chipotle on 110? did you come to school in new york city so that you would never leave campus? wtf.
@Chipotleway is the walk to 110th too much for you?
..i sort of agree on Dunkin Donuts, considering we have 2 starbucks within 5 blocks.. wtf. Then again, there is a Dunkin’ on 124th !!
@... also one on 105th and amsterdam
@why would anyone want Subway when we have so many more – and better – options in New York?
Seriously, Subway’s what you eat when you’re driving around the suburbs with the munchies because it’s the only thing open past 9PM.
It’s not even the cheapest food in the city, nor is it the best food for its price. It’s just… pure mediocrity.
@Robert Banter What about cheaper prices overall?? I pay 8 bucks for 2 pieces of fruit
@Anonymous Dear Bwog,
My christmas wish is that you find out what that new bar / restaurant is next to the Heights.
@Blah Whatever it is, it’s gonna contain a wine cellar. And it’s owned by the Westside market guy.
@needs more open bar.
Life needs more open bar.
@Anonymous didn’t we used to do a list of things we’re thankful for? that’s much better than this list of petty bitchery (even if i agree with most of it).
@Yes Please see T-giving post.
ALSO–
MERRY CHRISTMAS BWOG!! And to all a good night.
@FUCK YOU I CELEBRATE THE WINTER SOLSTICE! AND MAY YOUR WINTER NIGHTS BE LONG.
@panera? ahem. let’s try calling it by it’s rightful name: st. louis bread co.
@Anonymous Why would you want a Panera to move in? That’s the shit I have to eat when I leave New York for someplace where no one knows what a decent bagel tastes like/
@Panera fan Panera has a lot more than just bagels — for instance, their pastries that aren’t dessicated fossils like the ones served at 212.
@Anonymous I was just at Panera today. While it’s not the worst, it is no where near as good as just about any other place in NYC you might get bread, pastries, bagels, or sandwiches. I’m just a little blown away that we are asking for a mediocre chain to come in. How about we ask for something that is actually good doesn’t already exist every where else?
@granted we do have Cosi, which is absolutely atrocious.
It was one of the few places within reasonable distance of my internship last summer, and I never want to have to choke down one of their sandwiches, complete with undercooked chicken cartilage again.
@Gross “Renewed sense of decency that leads men to flush toilets regularly”
How about a renewed sense of decency that leads women to flush toilets regularly?
@flushing pee wastes water.
@suggestion take golden showers.
@I Get It! because, ordinarily, bwog never proofreads.
@anonymous word to the slippery surfaces predicament outside of butler and on the low steps (i always feel like i’m going to fall!) – glad to know i’m not the only one!!
@love it
@Owl Power YES. Butler and Low steps are freakin’ slippery. Every time it rains, I slip because I’m wearing my flip-flops since I’m a lazy asshole (also because flip-flops are so damn comfortable). Don’t lecture me on why I should not wear flipflops in the rain, because I know. :Pdu
@IN MY DAY ANY TIME THERE WAS A DROP OF RAIN, THE COLLEGE WALK WOULD INSTANTLY FLOOD AND WE WOULD HAVE TO TAKE A BOAT TO MAKE IT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF CAMPUS. AND WE LIKED IT! SLIPPY STAIRS ARE NOTHING! SO SHUTUP ABOUT YOUR FLIPPYFLOPPY DICK.
@WAKE UP Columbia.
@how about to be able to levitate over all the right angles on campus so I can take the shortest way possible between buildings
@Anonymous we did sorta kill the classic college quad theme.
@hush you I happen to like the fact that there’s no real hotspot on campus, and that our “student center” is really just an extra place to put a bunch of administrative offices.
@wait HOT WATER ISN’T FREE IN BUTLER ANYMORE??
wtf this is winter fucking sadists
@yeah good thing I like washing my hands with cold water after I poo. Saves me money every time!
@Knowledge Bomb It’s Daylight Saving Time. There is no s on the saving.
Also, in the winter we are OFF of Daylight Saving Time, and during the summer we are ON it.
The more you know…
@Santa of Rights Don’t be silly, Bwog: you have the right to marry anyone you want, it’s just that the government refuses to respect it! Happy holidays!
@Dear Santa of Rights, Could you please give me the right to smoke a joint in peace and not be harassed by the police, Uncle Sam, or (worse), Public safety and Dean Kromm?
kthnxbye
@WAKE UP WAKE UP COLUMBIA
@WAKE UP IT’S TIME TO MAKE THE DONUTS!
@anonymous more screaming! that’s a good one.