Tomorrow, there will be no more advice. So relish it today.

• Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to get out of the Foreign Language requirement! Deans don’t like to enlighten frosh on how it can be done, but The Blue and White cornered one administrator and he spilled the beans. Apparently, to be granted an exemption, a student must undergo a full weekend of diagnostic testing (which can cost upwards of $1,500) to determine that he or she is unable to learn a language. Once exempted, the student is required to take a few additional Major Cultures courses. Though The Blue and White has never met anyone who was deemed worthy of the Language Requirement exemption, it fervently believes that such an individual exists, and he or she could be you.

• Don’t even consider Majoring in Philosophy. Concentrate in it. It’s more philologically apt, anyway.