According to friends who nominated him, this next senior is a “game changer.” Also, last week he churned out a 45-page paper in a single night only typing with one hand because of an injury. How’s that 15 pager lookin’ now?

Name, School: Kamal Yechoor, SEAS

Claim to fame: I’m that guy you see in Butler watching sports on his computer because I’m too ambitious to waste my day watching sports in my room, but too lazy to actually do any work once I’m in the library… I’m the only person you know that has suffered significant nerve damage just by sleeping on his arm while drunk… Also, I was the class president of SEAS 2011 for 3 years sending my fellow engineers colorful and informative “weekly emails” every other month.

Where are you going? Cambridge, Massachusetts to be a consultant, but you’re probably more likely to find me in Logan Airport.

Three things you learned at Columbia:

1) The amount of time you will need to finish that paper/p-set/presentation you’re working on is exactly equal to how much time you have left to work on it.

2) Nobody, and I mean nobody, cares about student government except for maybe those currently involved in student government. (To the vast majority of you, this is likely obvious, but for me, this took me a while to learn)

3) Most people enter Columbia believing that they’re mature individuals, already equipped to handle everything that goes along with attending an Ivy League school in New York City. However, those people that truly understand that they can change, mature, and discover themselves along the way, are the ones that have the most fun at this school.

“Back in my day…” Hmm, the Global Core was called Major Cultures, Ferris Booth wasn’t a dining hall… actually, about that – I used to love the Ferris Pasta. It was exactly what I wanted, it was cheap ($6) and they actually gave you legit take-out boxes for them. It was basically the only thing I got from Ferris. Now, Ferris is all you can eat. But the pasta WAS all I wanted to eat anyway, and now its twice as expensive! Its still good though.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I’ve seen every single Jacksonville Jaguars game since 1999, I am ranked 84th in the world at Fantasy Golf, and I’m a sucker for catchphrases.

Is the War on Fun over? Who won? Any war stories? Let me preface this by saying, students will always find a way to have fun, but really, we lost. Just the other day, it was like 3am, and I just wanted to sit on the steps, blankly stare at Butler, John Jay, and South Lawn, while reminiscing about some of my memories, when Public Safety ordered me to leave. Apparently a student sitting on the steps late at night is considered a security threat. War on Fun or not, Columbia will always be a fun place, we all just may have to try a little harder than we used to.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Oral sex. And its not even close. As a vegetarian, what am I left with? I can’t survive on cereal and salads.

Advice for the class of 2015:

1) This applies for SEAS students only: Don’t take the “Engineer’s Way Out” (Global Core) when completing your core requirements. Take LitHum or CC.

2) Columbia is a very difficult place to go to school. However, all the pessimism, and cynicism that pervades this campus through what always seems to be the longest winter of your life will be wiped away come the first nice day of the year, when that ever-elusive green flag makes its appearance. DO NOT MISS BEING OUTSIDE ON THIS DAY. The campus truly comes alive. There is nothing quite like it.

3) There are so many opportunities here! Find your niche. It may take you a while to find it, but finding something (a team, a club, a class, or a cause) to successfully invest your time in, will most likely result in some of your most satisfying memories of college.

Any regrets? I made the mistake during much of my time here of knowing way too many people without actually “knowing” very many people at all. Recently, I’ve been able to rectify that and it has thoroughly improved my experience at Columbia. Its never too late to find people that you care about.

Know someone wise? Submit your nominees’ UNIs and a few good tales to editors@bwog.com.