12 CommentsBwog proudly presents that most desired bachelor of the past millennium. Interested parties, contact personals@bwog.com, and we’ll provide $10 for your hot date. And don’t worry if you don’t get the jokes — we didn’t read Confessions either.
St. Augustine
Name, Year, School, Major: Augustine a.k.a. Auggie, C ’87, Ascetic Studies
Preference: Lowly mortal seeking passionate divine love
Hometown: The Heart of God
Your dream date in seven words or less: Stealing pears with my concubine reading scripture and not having sex
What redeems you as a human being?: I spent the rest of my life in self-loathing for stealing pears when I was 15.
Myers Briggs Personality Type: ISTJ
Ref Room or 209: Whichever is sure to be free of the Manicheans.
Guilty Pleasure Song: Music is an empty, sinful, sensuous experience which condemns the soul to hell.
Late Night Food Stop: Eating is an empty, sinful, sensuous experience which condems the soul to hell.
Historical Hottie: The Holy Ghost
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12 Comments
@This is the nerdiest but most wonderful thing I have seen since that guy wrote a rap about Alexander Hamilton and presented it to the president in the White House’s private poetry slam.
@Anonymous Ashamed to say this may have been a good study aid. If I only had one for each book…
@Anonymous These are my confessions – I wanna have an empty, sinful and sensuous experience with you.
@Anonymous i’d tap that
@Anonymous “as far as appealing pics go – fail.”
@Anonymous St. Augustine is obviously the original brooding badboy. Can you honestly say that THAT is not appealing?
@Anonymous hes just so wonderful. i dont know what id do without him or his wonderful confessions. it put me to tears. i mean sleep.
@At Columbia sleep is an empty, sinful, sensuous experience which condemns the soul to hell.
@OH BABY LET’S DO SOME EROTIC FOOD PLAY WITH PEARS
@I banged your mom but really…
@Anonymous What a coincidence! And here I am thinking that I’m the only ISTJ around.
@George Bluth, Sr. NO TOUCHING!!!!!