Lerner Line Lunacy

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Curious about the results of the package center’s new “kiosk” system? After a rigorous scientific study (and like a million complaints from tipsters), we conclude it’s “working wonderfully!” and efficiency has improved by “like no percent.”


  • Number of crossword puzzles played during the wait: 3
  • Number of “fml lerner package center line” tweets: 15
  • Number of times “this is bullshit” heard: 76
  • People killed: 0 (so far)

Tags: , , ,


  1. GS'16  

    lol@CC kids with mailboxes on campus...

    GS with mailbox and apartment off campus far away from this nonsense

  2. Anonymous  

    Jokes aside they need to do something about that package center. The fact that course material that arrived to Lerner many days in advance of receiving a package notification is inaccessible to students is absurd. Where is our $60,000 dollars a year going? The administration needs to make more of an effort to improve services that actually improve students day-to-day experience. A lot of good a multi-billion dollar endowment or a new Manhattanville campus do if students can't receive their books promptly and rely on functioning printers...

    • Anonymous  

      One thing that could help is the bookstore should put the textbook list up way way sooner than it does. I tried many times to order my textbooks this summer, but I couldn't figure out what textbooks I needed to get because the bookstore didn't put up the list until after I was back on campus. At which point I was forced to order all my textbooks to campus mailbox instead of just ordering them to my home address and bringing them with me.

  3. Marina and the Diamonds  

    No, someone was killed today; the man who looked for my packages under the name "and the Diamonds" rather than Marina. Seriously, what CIUD has the last name listed first and first name last?

    Instead of spending money to fix the line, Columbia should find more competent employees.

  4. Anonymous  

    Number of times I threatened to write a very strongly worded email to the package center manager: many
    Number of strongly worded emails I've written: zero

    all kidding aside, the package center is inefficient and time consuming. That new kiosk only makes the line more chaotic. On top of that, I keep getting emails for packages that don't exist, keep getting other people's packages, and waste at least 50 minutes of my time.

    On top of that, the staff is SO RUDE.

  5. Anonymous  

    No, I feel bad. It isn't this bad at any post office near where I live at all. Ever.

    It isn't like I have a doorman taking my packages though. :-p

  6. Anonymous

    Lerner Mail has been historically bad. After the "literally throw the mail in the trash" scandal in November 2001, there has only been marginal improvement.

  7. Anonymous

    I actually kind of like the package center.

  8. I don't know but  

    Kiosks are amazing. I was able to cut the massive line after swiping my ID in Lerner lobby and the package center guys already had the package on the counter for me.

  9. Anonymous  

    just got three package center emails......nope. not doing it.

  10. Anonymous  

    some of the employees are so clueless....waited in line for more than an hour then the guy spends 10 minutes looking for my stuff and tells me "sorry, can't find it...come back later?" thankfully another more capable employee stepped in and found it within 30 seconds.

  11. Anonymous  

    It's amazing. There's a line for the kiosk now, almost going into Cafe 212.

  12. gay

    It's worth the wait if the hunky package center dude wearing Bonobos serves you. He has the finest ass I've ever seen.

  13. Anonymous  

    A helpful tip from the Columbia Class of 2015 group for anyone ordering stuff from Amazon:

    protip: if you want to order something from Amazon, but don't want to have to stand in the Lerner package center line for 21431 hours, use this:
    and pick up your stuff from the locker at Rite Aide on 110th.

    It's much faster, and also makes you feel like you're living in a sci-fi movie

  14. It's sad  

    this is an improvement, a big improvement. See last year:

  15. Bulldozer Plan (engineer here)  

    Room 477 and 478 in Lerner Hall need to go and be changed into an expanded mail room. IF we want to go really crazy, we add more shelves and bulldoze the top floor of ferris booth. See the problem is, we have this big pile of mail. Massive pile. A worker picked up a random piece from this pile and puts it on a shelf. This shelf location is logged and the student is then emailed. But, during peak times, there is so much mail, we can't warehouse it in an organized matter. So, we wait until a student picks up a package to take a new package from the pile. The rate at which mail is taken by the end user is much lower then the sorting capacity of even minimal staff. Notice the staff setup up front. There is one cashier and one retriever. There is a massive chock point at the doorway behind their desk into the shelf room. We are at maximum staff. Thus, we are faced with no other option but to remove room 477 and 478 so we can add more staff effectively and increase the rate at which students retrieve their packages. I would continue on this endeavor of solving this problem in a reasonable fashion but there are 2 things happening A) Columbia is paying the worst consultant ever a lot of money and I'm not solving their problem without atleast a few free dining dollars. B) They won't get rid of 477 and 478 because those rooms are often used for conferences and there is nowhere else really to put breakout sessions. Wait, what's this, is this ample room on the 5th floor and columbia is just milking a cash cow. I think it is.

    • Anonymous

      What extra room? 477 has extra soundproofing, and 478 is used by UEM. The only 5th floor space I can think of are the rehearsal rooms and the meager storage room, both used by theater groups.

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