Last night was Wien’s first ever party, in case you somehow missed all the frantic advertising. Bwog was regrettably not in attendance, but after some quick sleuthing through our Columbia Admirers Facebook feed we were able to come up with a good idea of what it must have been like. Below, a fictionalized take on love courtship obsession socially awkward interaction at Columbia.

Sometimes, gestures of love fall flat. Also, people get a little too inspired by lit hum authors.

Before

After

Mixed signals are a thing, but so is obsessive-paranoid over-interpretation. 

Sometimes two people are friends, and one friend thinks it’s a normal friendship, and the other is batshit crazy in love with the other person. Read: every other post on CU Admirers.

Sometimes people need to be a little more precise about who the fuck they’re talking about, or, the other half of CU Admirers posts.

What actually happens when you “spontaneously” Admire someone:

And sometimes, we just want somebody to love too. Bwog’s own heartfelt admission would look something like this.