Not-So Good Will Hunting

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A tipster found this list by a printer. We’re not sure who could have constructed such an elaborate hunt, but it is certainly not rated E for everyone. 

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  1. "visit to the NYU Pikes"  

    I think we can guess the provenance

  2. Pi Kappa Alpha  

    Shut up guys, we have a 5 Star Alpha Standards rating.

  3. LOL

    wait, we have a scientology church nearby? where is it?
    i know a lot of those assholes. don't ask why. 2 words: federal investigation.

  4. Anonymous  

    that would explain why i saw a group of guys frolicking past 110th with an orange cone last night

    • idk  

      my suite mate is a drunk-hoarder. he came home with a feather duster, traffic cone, and rubber sandals after senior night. Just cause you saw guys with a traffic cone, doesnt mean its these guys. just sayin.

  5. JE

    Before the self-righteous hipster brigade loses their cool (that includes the administration), a moment of reflection will reveal that this is a very, very tame list. Sometimes lines have to be crossed for a little bit of good natured fun. This school is too damn pressured for people to have to also rigorously police every joke and every activity they do to make sure there are no fat jokes, etc. Ultimately no one (even the fat girl they piggy back) gets hurt in any of this. Is it great? Obviously not. But transgressing a few of society's boundaries--and let's be honest, the harmless ones--is actually important for our mental health. Just keep that in mind before you start calling for heads to roll. And real people's heads, too. Your peers.

  6. GDI  

    not gonna lie, some of this looks really fun

  7. Anonymous  

    So this was obviously Pike. Isn't that hazing?? Bwog, follow up for God's sake!

  8. Lindy West  


  9. Anonymous

    it's a scavenger hunt! looks like fun, I want to join pikes now.

  10. a fellow greek

    FIRST OFF, this clearly wasn't hazing. Hazing is, "the practice of rituals and other activities involving harassment, abuse or humiliation used as a way of initiating a person into a group." It's a fucking scavenger hunt for christ's sake.

    At no point are the pledges humiliated, abused or harassed to do anything on this list. Clearly the point system indicates that they have the OPTION to do whatever they want on the list, some more realistic than others. and honestly nothing on this list is all that offensive. Maybe the pledges piggy backing on fat chicks, but even that is clearly just a joke. Don't tell me you've never made a fat chick joke before. Is it right? no. but is it something that constitutes "hazing" or any type of judicial action? Obviously not.

    As JE said earlier, people need to get off their high horses and calm the fuck down. I've done scavenger hunts myself as a pledge, and I can personally say that this list is VERY tame. kudos to whoever their risk management chair is. It's when people get crucified for shit like this that I hate going to Columbia.
    Greek solidarity.

    • "but even that is clearly just a joke"  

      No one's arguing with that: the issue is this idea that jokes are somehow outside of the realm of censure, that just because something's done in jest means that it's critically untouchable. No, maybe it's not technically "hazing", maybe it's relatively "tame", but none of that means it isn't reprehensible.

      Greek solidarity's cool and all, but so's solidarity with the rest of the school community.

    • another fellow greek  

      Actually, hazing, as defined by Columbia, is "Any action taken or situation created, intentionally, whether on or off fraternity premises, to produce mental or physical discomfort, embarrassment, harassment, or ridicule. Such activities may include but are not limited to the following: use of alcohol; paddling in any form; creation of excessive fatigue; physical and psychological shocks; quests, treasure hunts, scavenger hunts, road trips or any other such activities carried on outside or inside of the confines of the chapter house, wearing of public apparel which is conspicuous and not normally in good taste; engaging in public stunts and buffoonery; morally degrading or humiliating games and activities; and any other activities which are not consistent with fraternal law, ritual or policy or the regulations and polices of the educational institution." (this can be found here, in the "Anti Hazing New Member" PDF:

      So, yes -- a scavenger hunt is technically hazing. Glad to see you take your Greek duties seriously and read that form carefully before you signed it as a new member!

    • Keeping it real

      You clearly don't know the definition of hazing.

      Hazing isn't just limited to "rituals" it's when you force pledges to do anything, like let's say "an insipid, disrespectful chauvinistic scavenger hunt."

  11. its a fact  

    frat boy scavenger hunts always end in a circle jerk

  12. Anon  

    At least non of the pledges had to take a "pike" up their butt if you know what i mean!

  13. Arsene Wenger  

    Am I the only one who thinks this looks kinda fun?

  14. hmmmm

    "picture of a homeless man burning money"
    Overall this list left a pretty bad taste in my mouth. It's clearly a product of an insecure group of people that need to hide behind these sort of group actions to feel important. When you take that upper decker you may find it hilarious, but someone making around minimum wage is going to have to clean it up. Making fun of overweight people will not strengthen your overworked, protein shake induce athletic façade. PIKE, you and the frat brothers you want to impress are not the only people in the world.

  15. Anonymous  

    Fighting over the principles of a scavenger hunt? #highbrowprocrastination

  16. CC 14  

    Because getting hit in the face with a black fist dildo isnt hazing.

  17. greek bruh  

    Columbia fuckin sucks, it's way to PC, people don't even laugh when you pay homeless people to burn money.

  18. Why do you guys care?  

    Is this news? Is this relevant to the rest of campus? Doesn't everyone (readers, commenters, and Bwoggers) have midterms, or anything else to occupy their time? What were you doing while these dudes were on their scavenger hunt? My guess is not much if you give a shit about this.

    • having cake/eating it, too  

      you can't claim greek life is a valuable part of the community at large one day and then when it fucks up say, "it's not relevant to the rest of campus!!"

  19. poonspeeding  


  20. Truth  

    Hazing is not the issue here. The issue lies in the fact that the values expressed by the list seem to be pulled straight from horrible mutation of 1950's-esque misogyny and jack-ass-esque immaturity. Why anyone would want to be a part of this brotherhood is a mystery to me. This list just makes its creators sound like genuinely bad people. The fact that members of the elite (i.e., Columbia students) in the richest country in the world, in 2013 can still be committed to a set of values that is so archaic and backwards as this is what is disturbing to me.

  21. So much trolling material, so many midterms.

  22. Anonymous  

    "Sometimes lines have to be crossed for a bit of good natured fun."
    "transgressing a few of society's boundaries--and let's be honest, the harmless ones--is actually important for our mental health."

    I know what you mean! When I want to relax, I enjoy throwing objects, (small harmless ones that won't significantly hurt anyone) out of my EC window at the child's playground below. The fun is in the mystery. Did they hit a minority? Perhaps they hit a small animal enjoying a nut or berry! Who knows! The fun is in the mystery! Just speculating at the delightfully silly noises vagrants make when they are injured in some way really helps me puts my mind at ease at the end of a long day--What fun! what whimsy!

  23. Anonymous

    Long term - 20 to 30 years - fraternities are doomed. Not saying that's a good or a bad thing, but I don't think they can survive in the current environment.

  24. Greek Life  

    *sighs* We're fucked.

  25. Anonymous  


    It wouldn't survive the first five minutes of a Pike party

  26. JE

    I feel like when weed is legalized, Bwog comment threads are gonna be a lot shorter.

  27. Lars  

    Burning money? What are you an asshole?

  28. are you serious  

    guys, this is a pretty damn innocuous list; i'm even in a competing fraternity of pike's and i think that the reactions to this are absolute shit. things like this that make the columbia community freak out just makes me hate you overly analytical, self-righteous fucks more and more by the day. it worries me that at even in your 20s you are already indoctrinated with the hypocritical, over-judgmental, fun-sucking bullshit of octogenarians.

    • anon  

      I'm so glad I didn't go to elementary or middle school with you. I imagine you were probably in that gang of kids for whom the idea of "having fun" was the equivalent mental or physical torture for everyone else.

      • that...

        sounds like a blast. where do I sign up?

      • that  

        could be interpreted in thousands of ways. if you're going to accuse me of being a shitty person then you're going to have to pinpoint a little more.

        • Bro

          I don't understand why you're getting so offended. Your inexplicable aversion to thinking through the shit you say and do and how it may affect other people not-withstanding, if you're gonna be a shitty person just own up to it. At least be a self-aware and honest douchebag, because there's nothing worse than an asshole who's too much of a dimwit or coward
          to acknowledge it.

          And, for the record, if you actually derive pleasure from the idea of a homeless man burning money or exploiting the physique of women during eating disorder awareness week then, by my admittedly stringent standards,
          you're kind of just a twisted piece of crap. Just saying.

          • Fripster  

            Obviously you never saw shit like Jackass and Borat. People LIKE doing stupid shit, it's fun even if it's fucked up. It's hillarious...

            No fucks given. Fuck Columbia's over politically correct nature...

          • Nope

            Saw Borat and thought it was meh--agreed that I wouldn't enjoy jackass, because it's one long exploitative brain fart. I'm actually sort of a comedy buff, though, and this is why I'm further convinced you're just stupid and wrong. Here's the thing about comedians like Sacha Baron Cohen, Sarah Silverman, Louis C.K., hell even Seth Macfarlane and Trey Parker: they're very intelligent about their comedy. Yes they push boundaries and mock people, but they're good-natured and equal-opportunity mockers. If you haven't noticed that half the time they make fun of marginalized groups they're actually infusing it with witty social commentary making fun of people like you by now, then you probably don't deserve to be here.

            Also, why do you wear the badge of "fratty hipster" with pride? That sounds like the most obnoxious personality combination ever. Are you like an intentionally hyper-ironic party bro? Do you roofie chicks and then force them to listen to crappy indie music while you marathon portlandia?Can those two things even go together?

  29. you must

    not be in a "competing" fraternity of Columbia Pike if you pluralize Pikes as "Pike's."

    • you must  

      not be a native speaker of english. that was a correct usage of the genitive case. let me give you another example because you are so clearly dimwitted: the well-known tune "this little light of mine" would not be correct if it read "this little light of my." my is changed into its genitive form to be grammatically correct, and the "pike" equivalent of this would be "pike's." now fuck off and go attack someone for something you are not actually absolutely wrong about.

      • Anonymous

        your example isn't even comparable. "My" is possessive. "Pike" isn't possessive. The equivalent example would be "this little light of me," self-professed English genius.

        Many grammarians, in fact, will concede to usage for pronouns at large ("this little light of mine") while maintaining the grammar at the noun level ("a friend of Jane"). There doesn't seem to be a settled answer on this, actually, but you are definitely not "absolutely right" and I am definitely not "absolutely wrong."

  30. In other news.....  

    Macklemore WAS going to perform here, and yet he still cancelled.

  31. me again

    actually, i just reread it, and we're both wrong.
    i see now that he meant it in the genitive case. in that case, using 's was redundant. he should have just said "a competing fraternity of pike."

  32. The more you know  

    More than (75 / 375) or 1/5 seniors in SEAS already has a BACHELORS degree from a shitty liberal arts college. they got in through an affirmative action program for rich people who can afford the extra degree to help columbia make ends meet during these difficult economic times. you might know this program as 3+2. the administration is laughing at your hard work to get in here fairly by accepting these rich students from hendrix college, et al. who dilute our degrees. They get GUARANTEED ADMISSION as long as they score a 3.3 at their dumbass community colleges. Look up this program. It is real. WE NEED TO DEMAND CHANGE NO

  33. On Ambition, Cigars, and Women: The Finer Things in Life. A Conversation with a Refined Asian Gentleman

    Dear Gentlewomen and Gentlemen of Columbia University in the City of New York
    I am writing to let you know that I have determined the finest things in life to be (in no particular order):

    - beautiful and smart white women with big round eyes and porcelain skin
    - cuban cigars
    - summer vacations “out east” in the hamptons and martha’s vineyard
    - Chteau Margaux fine wine
    - a fine, liberal arts education
    - engineering competence (for well rounded-ism)
    - white women
    - academic prestige and excellency (e.g., columbia, princeton, yale)
    - Polo (not the clothing)
    - yacht racing
    - sustained financial success in your proven field (banking, law, medicine)
    - white women
    - an appreciation for classical music
    - an appreciation for other forms of cultural and artistic expression (raps about social issues, rock music with political fervor, etc…)

    It is my sincere wish that my fellow Ivy League gunners and social entrepreneurs strive for the above-stated goals of excellency, ambition, and self-advancement.

    Let us all become better, harder-working, and more refined gentlewomen and gentlemen of this fine institution and nation.

    Refined Asian Guy Class of 2012, CLS JD 2015

  34. Anonymous

    not saying i think this isn't fucked up, but i'm not sure fraternities are on their way out

  35. Anonymous

    For all of those who think the members of Pike are “good guys,” let this list serve as an undisputed example of the culture of their fraternity and the ideas they impart on their freshman recruits year after year. Behind closed doors, Pike perpetuates a culture of sexism and misogyny. It teaches its freshmen members that it’s okay to make fun of a homeless man, that it’s okay to say hateful things about a woman because of her weight, that it’s okay to engage in criminal activity if it’s all in good fun. It’s disappointing to see something like this on this campus, but what is even sadder is that the freshmen recruits look up to the older members and in turn adopt the same kind of hateful thinking. Once the upperclassmen leave, the new generation of Pikes will simply create another list like this one and the problem will persist. Pike is not a group of “Leaders” and “Gentleman;” it’s a group of immature, arrogant children who have shown both in the media and now in text form that they deserve no place on this campus.

  36. Player Hater's Ball  

    Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate! Yes generalize a Fraternity of 45 of your peers as all sexists, misogynists, immature and arrogant children. That makes sense.

    • Hmm

      You capitalized frat and still seem to think the fact that they're our peers counts for shit. It's a voluntary association, and I have every right to look down on you fit at least implicitly condoning that behavior. You say you and your "brothers" aren't like that--that being the numerous actions you've taken personally--then fucking prove it. You've made your bed and earned all of the scorn you're receiving, so take action or stop whining.

      • Actually  

        I'm not even in a Fraternity, but I can tell you that the Greek community does more philanthropy and community service than any group on campus (barring Community Impact groups). And yes, I think that anyone at Columbia deserves respect. Finally, what happened to innocent until proven guilty? This whole thing is Bwog speculation--have the accussed issued a statement regarding this matter? Until then, you should hold off on the name calling and the holier than thou attitude.

      • wow  

        Not sure why actually is even indulging your converstation, you sound like a total jugdmental bitch!

  37. You would like that  

    wouldn't you?

  38. jamieb

    to much PC on here. It did not say steal shoes, it said you cant buy them, that means for points you could trade you watch, hat, your shoes, a nice coat whatever. You have to decide if the points are worth loosing your nice shoes for smelly old shoes. It did not say steal.

    For a bunch of think they know it all college kids, who go to a great, open minded, creativity fostering school, the lack of basic creativity is sort of alarming.

    Also riding a fat girl is no different that asking for a drivers license picture of a guy over 6'6", or asking for a high five from a person under 4'9" etc. Its just a hard thing to find, coupled with a task. Firemen carry people out of buildings all the time. Grade school track and field days, and company picknics do piggy back ride contests. No big deal. Its not shameful.

    Lastly for the creative open mind set, putting words on paper does not mean anyone has to do it, nor does it mean people can do it, or will even consider it. It can be to elicit a laugh, and talk about it while you are driving around looking for a parking cone.

  39. Anonymous

    "it's not shameful."

    I'm sorry, but you really don't think anyone believes that, do you?

    • jamieb

      like i said. Is it bad when a fireman carries you? Do you cringe when you see some 11 year old girls at the middle school olympics/field day carrying each other?

      Your response, was basically, i cant believe you do not have the same emotional response as me, and lack of logic.

      Your not being logical.

      Whipping someone and making them carry you is terrible. It is not terrible to be something like a rickshaw "driver" in india or china, if you allows you to feed your family of 5 people. That is not shameful.

      Nothing one does on their own is shameful if they want to do it, and do not do it out of despair, or they are not coerced. Its quite simple.

      If i carry two guys on my back in football, and cross the goal line, i am a badazz, not the fool.

      Expand your mind, your actually quite bigoted, and narrow minded. You should just change your username to pcdouche.

      Either fat people are the same or they are not. It sounds like you think they are not the same, they are infantile, they can NOT make decisions on their own, and need people like you to look after them? That does not make you sound so progressive does it? It eerily similar to old ideas about women or minorities, like a woman cant be a lawyer or a doctor, or a black man cant lead a bunch of white guys into battle. You think fat people cant make a decision. THEY SIMPLY must have been exploited, it couldn't be they might have had fun, or thought it was funny.

  40. Cosmopolitan Magazine  

    cares about bwog. They linked back to this in an article posted today <3

  41. Cmon Guys

    Nothing is funny. Everything is problematic. And before you comment like "Name: lolol" and "comment: Do you think this person is actually serious??" I fucking am. This bullshit is another example of the capitalism and patriarchy all around us.

  42. Im in Pike

    And youre completely right!!!! I'm sooooo hateful

  43. Anonymous

    If you're offended by this list you are more or less a huge, politically correct, pussy.

    - Mysogynist, asshole, etc.

  44. Poonspeeder

    Who's this matt wang guy? Sounds like a complete twat.

  45. Matt Wang

    Anyone seen my glasses?

  46. Anonymous

    Matt Wang is Pike's fraternity chapter advisor. Check this out, the list made the news!

  47. Anonymous

    Matt Wang is the Pike fraternity's chapter advisor. It looks like he's got some work on his hands because the list just made the news:

  48. Anonymous

    Matt Wang is the Pike fraternity's chapter advisor. It looks like he's got some work on his hands because the list just made the news:

  49. VVVVVV  

    Go back to your commune

  50. Whut  

    And you FRAT boys want to be called "fraternity" men? Smh.

  51. Misogyny?

    How can you say that when poonspeeding involves *giving* oral sex (w/ swimpcap + goggles)...sounds more like chivalry to me.

  52. Below Me

    The great thing about that policy is that is says "may include" and not "does include." That means a scavenger hunt may not necessarily be considered hazing. The operative word is "may."

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