Dear Bwog: Sex and Lies
Written by Bwog Staff
Once again, Bwog is tackling the mountain of gossipy (possibly trolling) emails that has accumulated in our inbox. If you’re having relationship struggles, school struggles, or general life struggles, send them to [email protected] for some sassy,
maybe useful advice.
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 2 years now, and we’re very happy together. So I’m not sure what to make of the fact that he hid something from me.
He has a friend who is fairly attractive, and who he admitted to having a thing for a few years ago. I’d never made very much of it, especially since they’d been out of touch for a long time but he’s always sensed I’ve been a little apprehensive about her. I knew she was back in town recently, and randomly asked him one day if he’d hung out with her lately. He said that he had a while ago, and that he hadn’t told me until I brought it up because he was worried it’d upset me.
Come to think of it, he has actually fibbed about things before, and blatantly hid and later admitted to something (that was actually serious) on at least one occasion.
I don’t think anything happened between them or he would have flat out lied when I brought it up. He also promises full disclosure for things from now on…but he’s said that before. I think it’s fair to want full disclosure on things that could potentially bother your partner when it comes to exes and crushes. What do you think? And what does his hiding this say about him/our relationship? Is he likely hiding other things?
Dear Confused Star Crossed Lover,
Asking for Bwog advice is definitely a good start! However, Bwog, having only entertained internet relationships, decided to give you a two-sided answer so you can make an educated decision. Really you only have two options:
A. Dump him already
1. He lied to you
2. It’s not the first time
3. Even if he won’t do it again, why continue on a relationship if you are having so many doubts? If you’re not planning on getting married (eek), it may not be worth the trouble. Just enjoy your time at college. Any relationship that needs work before you’re 25 (yes, Bwog spent a lot of time calculating this) is not worth the trouble. Dump him.
B. Marry him already
1. He told you the truth.
2. He promised he won’t do it again.
3. A healthy relationship is one based on trust and respect. Clearly he respected you enough to tell you the truth when asked, and didn’t do so earlier in order not to upset (and look what state you are in now)! He shouldn’t feel the need to share every detail of his life with you. Especially after two years together! Just trust him and fornicate. Also Bwog strongly advises you sign up for the St. Paul wait-list at Columbia (non denominational institution), in case this story ends well.
Alright, maybe you don’t have to necessarily dump him or marry him and you can just see which answer feels most appealing. Best of luck, and don’t forget to call your baby Bwog if this turns out in option B!
best advice ever via Shutterstock